Resolutions
by themindofmine
Summary: As Jess and Derek's wedding approches the team must take care of some old busniess and an old friend.
1. Chapter 1

Resolutions

Chapter One

Matt Hawkes stood and watched his sister say goodbye to her husband to be. They had been putting off thinking about his departure and now it was time for him to go. Matt leaned against the railing. Jess wasn't as strong as she used to be. Her emotions weren't as easy to hide as they once had been. He knew why. No one would ever blame it on hormones to her face but he knew he was in for a very long eight months. Matt knew that Derek Morgan would return in two weeks but he wondered if any of them would make it that long. One last goodbye and Jess tuned and let him go. Matt was waiting for her at the gate. Her eyes red, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"He'll be back before you know it Jess." They walked out to Matt's SUV. "Till then you have a million things to do to get ready for the holidays and Cutler's coming home in a few days."

"Who are you trying to console? Yourself or me?"

"Jess…it won't seem that long if you keep busy."

"Is Flynn going to stay with Cutler till he can at least get out of bed?"

"Last I heard that was the plan. You want to swing by the hospital? You haven't seen him since Saturday."

"Is he mad at me?"

"No, Jess. He knows you needed to work things out with Derek. Shep didn't like the way his lung was healing so they did a few more tests. Everything is fine and the nurses are begging for his release." Jess smiled as she got into the truck.

"No one deserves Cutler after he's been cooped up for a few days. Did you bring him that plate I made him last night?"

"Before I went to bed last night."

"Speaking of…your bed was suspiciously empty last night big brother."

"I thought you and Derek needed some time alone." He smiled. "The next two weeks will fly by Jess. You'll see." He was changing the subject. She looked out the window at the snowy landscape.

"I know." She looked at Matt. "Thanks again for driving him to the airport."

"I didn't mind."

"You lost."

"I was the only one strong enough to pull you away from the gate if need be." Jess smiled. She hadn't done much smiling in the last twenty four hours.

"How's things with Robin?"

"We're taking it slow." Jess rolled her eyes.

"Two months is taking it slow Matt. You've had twenty years." She knew her brother was worried about what would happen to his twenty year friendship with Robin. "She's been there this long Matt. She's not going anywhere."

"Just because you're happily in love Jess doesn't give you the power to see what everyone else is feeling."

"I know both of you better then anyone. You both deserve to be happy Matt." He pulled in front of the hospital.

"But not necessarily with each other. Don't get me wrong Jess I love Robin. I have for a long time. But am I in love with her? I don't know. You and Cutler made it work when your relationship was over."

"It's because Cutler is a son of a bitch. We fight most of the time but I know he has my back and he knows I have his. It's just the way we are Matt. Can you be that way if things don't work with Robin?"

"After twenty years I would hope we could work anything out." They got out of the truck. "You not going to freak on me if things don't work out, are you?" She looked at him. He might be ten years older then her but he was still the boy she remembered, always worried if things would get taken care of.

"No. My days of freaking out are coming to end." They walked into the hospital. "I think pending marriage and motherhood brings freaking out to a minimum."

"Or makes it ten times worse." Matt pushed the elevator button. "Your going to handle things just fine Jess."

"I'm counting on that. If I don't you have my permission to slap me." They got in the elevator. Jess pressed the second floor.

"Can I get that in writing?" The doors open and they stepped out to yelling. "Please tell me Cutler isn't in the middle of this." Jess looked around. The door was open to his room.

"You find out what's going on I'll go check on the trouble maker." Jess went into Cutler's room. He was sleeping. She looked out to see Matt talking to Shep. Closing the door she sat down.

"Thanks. It was getting kind of loud out there." Cutler opened his eyes.

"What's going on out there?"

"Best I can tell some pissed off husband came looking for his wife. I just thought I'd stay out of it."

"Good thinking."

"Morgan get off okay?"

"Yeah. We both shed a few tears. But it's only two weeks, right?" He looked at her.

"Yeah. Two weeks is nothing." Jess took a deep breath.

"How are you?" She took his hand in hers.

"Shep said if I'm really good I may be able to go home tomorrow."

"I can't see you being good but maybe he'll let you go home anyway. Flynn said he was going to spend a few days with you. Think you can handle that?"

"If it means getting out of this place I'd move in with Izzy." Jess laughed.

"Clair already has it in for Cody. You don't need to be put on that list." Matt came in.

"Another day in paradise." Matt looked at Jess. "Sorry to cut this short but the Sheriff just called and a bunch of hunter's near Lake Jen just started their tents on fire. Cody, Hart and Robin have it covered but we need to get back to the station."

"Flynn will be here later okay." Jess stood and kissed the top of his forehead.

"Be careful."

"We always are." They both said at the same time and headed out the door.

"You take care of what was going on out here?"

"Just flashed my badge and he headed for the hills. Shep will call the Sheriff if he comes back." They took the steps down to the lobby. "Have you heard from Aaron Bass's granddaughter lately?"

"Not since last summer when she came into town to visit. She's still in Sacramento as far as I know"

"I thought I heard Cody say something about her coming up for Christmas."

"Jack Lawson was watching the fishing lodge. I could call him."

"I just don't want those hunters burning down that place with their stupidity. That's all Jen needs." They got into the truck and Matt pulled out of the lot sirens on.

"It's all she has left of Aaron." Jess missed Aaron Bass. He had lived to see his granddaughter get married on Lake Jen twelve years ago and then he died peacefully in his sleep a month later. "Jack was just up there before the last big storm. He called me to tell me everything was okay."

"You stay and man the phones and I'll see what Cody's found out." They stopped in front of the station. It was only Monday but Jess could feel they were in for a long hard week.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Jess please!" Cody stood in front of his sister at the front desk.

"For the last time no!" She looked at him. "I'm not going to do it Cody."

"It's for an hour Jess. Just an hour." Glaring at him she shook her head.

"I will not sit thought a budget meeting. You can't make me. I have no rights or reason for having to sit thought anything that boring."

"All Matt has to do is turn in the budget and answer any questions. You know the answers as well as he does."

"And so do you. And it's your job. Not mine."

"Jess if I miss this doctor's appointment with Sarah she will make sure those boys are the last children I have. She can't handle both of them when they get their shots. They feed on each other's misery and make her feel worse. Please Jess. For the sake of my marriage. Matt's still looking for one of those hunter's on the ridge." Jess looked at him. She wanted to let him stew for a few minutes longer but he looked so damned pitiful.

"I'm doing for Sarah. Not you." She grabbed the folders Cody gave her. "You owe me Cody." Flynn was on the chair by the door. "Get up and give me a ride." She smacked Flynn's head with the files.

"Who died and made me your driver?" He got up.

"Just shut up and drive." Cody smiled as he watched Jess get into Flynn's jeep. Hart came in.

"One of these days Cody, she's going to shoot your ass and you're the only one who won't know why." He sat down at the front desk.

"She needs to get out and get some fresh air." He grabbed his coat. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Matt should be back with Izzy and Robin by dinner."

"Yeah, Yeah. You all go have your fun and let me have some peace and quiet for a change."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Three hours later Jess stamped the snow off her boots and headed to the kitchen. Flynn was smart and headed upstairs in the opposite direction. Matt was sitting behind his desk. Cody was standing behind him looking at something on the computer monitor. Going in the office she slammed the door behind her and threw the files on Matt's desk. Cody looked up.

"So how was the board meeting?" If he didn't know better he thought he heard Jess growled at him.

"Either one of you send me into one of those meetings again I will unadopt myself from this family and you will never see me or the child I'm baring ever again." Matt looked at her then at Cody.

"You sent her. Cody I told you that I needed you to go in there and charm them not send in…her…to scare the hell out of them."

"Sarah needed me to take the boys to get their shots. It wasn't my choice. All she had to do was give them the paper work and answer some lame questions." Matt glared at him and then looked at Jess.

"Please tell me they approved the budget Jess." Glaring at Cody she adjusted her sling on her right arm.

"They ambushed me Matt. Wanted to know figures and reasons for going over budget and why you're not married yet." She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Three hours Matt. Three hours of old, cranky people throwing questions at me left and right. And then the started in on suggestions. Matt I'm going to kill him. As soon as my arm heals enough to raise a gun I will shoot him." She glared at Cody.

"Jess…I will dig the hole. Now please tell me we got our budget approved for next year or we'll be living off your check till that runs out then we'll be eating cat food." Jess cracked a smile. Matt was too easy. She could yank his chain without even working up a sweat. It always helped when Cody was involved and didn't even know it. She threw down a brown envelope. Matt grabbed it and his letter opener and tore into it. He took out the check. "Jess this is almost double them I asked for."

"Little sister isn't as antisocial as you were let to believe."

"How did you do it? I mean they never lift and eyebrow at the numbers and they knew Derek was signing on but I thought they would have some questions."

"Oh they did. Seems word has gotten around that we need better medical insurance. That's what the extra money is for. Nothing but the best medical care for the Rangers."

"Clair's dad is on the board. He must have gotten a copy of your last trip the ER. "Matt smiled. "You're my go to for my budget from now on. Who needs Mr. Charm when I have the walking wounded." Cody faked being offended.

"You got him good Jess. I thought he couldn't get any paler." Matt punched Cody's shoulder. "Okay would someone go for the left one once in a while? My right shoulder will need replacing soon."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Derek Morgan sat in his apartment. He looked at his watch and it was five minutes later then the last time he looked. It hadn't been a full twelve hours yet and he was missing Jess already. Hotch had called just after he had gotten in to let him know that the team was meeting in the morning. One last case to wrap things up before he left the stress and strain of big city crime fighting. He smiled. Jess would laugh when he told her he was going to be useless to anyone until he saw her again. He would work this last case. Make his last calls to Garcia. Fight his last fight with Rossi. Share one last drink with Reid. He was ready to leave this place and start new with Jess. Getting up he went to his room laid on his bed and made a phone call that he was almost desperate to make.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"High Mountain Ranger's HMR Hawkes speaking how may I help you?"

"You can come rescue me from my lonely existence." Jess smiled.

"I believe you are a bit out of my jurisdiction."

"I thought you could cross state lines if you're called to assist another department asked for your assistance"

"Is the FBI asking for my assistance?"

"This agent is. I miss you so much Jess."

"You got it bad Agent Morgan."

"I know. Have you decided on where you wanted to get married?"

"Vegas."

"Jess we can't do that to your family or mine."

"I know. Did you know Cutler is a licensed mister?"

"No, that's one thing I did not know about him."

"He was ordained online. It's legal in seventeen states and the District of Columbia."

"Really? Are you going someplace with this?"

"Well…I was thinking…"

"Oh God, I'm in trouble." Jess laughed.

"Three weddings."

"Coming from the girl who wanted to go to Vegas. Three weddings Jess."

"One here, one in Chicago and one in DC."

"Jess your nuts."

"Family and friends here bring it to like fifty people. How about Chicago?"

"About that I guess. If not less."

"DC?"

"Thirty tops."

"Now come on that's a wedding for a hundred and thirty. We just have to say I do three times. I can declare my love for you a million times if that's what it takes Derek. We have to do Christmas here and New Year's in Chicago anyway. Then we can rent a truck and move your things here. Our honeymoon can be a road trip from DC to California."

"Have you talked this over with anyone?"

"You're the only one I have to talk anything over with. So what do you think?"

"I think you're trying to make too many people happy. The Vegas thing is looking better and better."

"Come on a fifteen minute ceremony and a couple of hours for dinner and whatever. Come on Derek. We can do this."

"You're loosing your mind woman. I guess…if you think it'll work."

"I'll start to ball rolling."

"My first New Year's resolution is to make you my wife Jess so I guess if that way works for you."

"Okay then. I got to get back to work so you my love sit back and let me do all the work. Anyplace special in Chicago you want to make plans at?"

"You handle your mountain, I'll handle Chicago and when that's done we'll plan dinner here in DC. How does that sound?" Jess smiled.

"Have I told you that you're the most incredible man I have ever met?"

"Not during this phone call. I love you Jess."

"Don't forget that. I love you too Derek." Jess hung up and smiled. Things were going to be okay. She could feel it. Grabbing her files she headed of to do the work she'd been letting get behind and prayed she'd make it all work in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

Resolutions

Chapter Two

Cody looked at his phone sitting in front of him. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with what the last phone call he received had brought to the table. Aaron Bass had been a good family friend. He had lost his fishing lodge in the big quake of eighty-seven. Lake Jennifer still stood proud and brought in lots of tourist in the summer but the lodge was long gone. Now the new lodge on Lake Jen was being threatened. The snow that had fallen over the last few months had buried the building and frost had taken over the walls inside and out. Jack Lawson had gotten sick after Thanksgiving and hadn't called anyone to check on the old place. He had to call Jen before she started her Christmas trip to the lodge.

"Do you want me to do it?" Jess stood at the door of the weather room.

"It would be better coming from me."

"I think she's still a little sweet on you." Jess smiled.

"She's married with four kids and I'm married with three. How sweet can she be on me?"

"You've known her since she was twelve. She might have one of those school girl crushes."

"Like you and Cutler." Jess sat down across from him.

"That was lust pure and simple." Cody closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Over sharing again. Jess, when will you learn it turns my stomach to think of the two of you doing anything the least bit…lustful?"

"I know, that why I do it." She loosened her sling and took it off stretching her arm a little. "After you break the bad news invite her to come for Christmas here anyway. I talked to Matt and he said they could stay at his place and we'd stay here."

"That's nice of you two."

"Yeah, we do come up with some good ideas now and then. Derek and I decided to get married between Christmas and New Years."

"Oh really. Have you discussed this with our parents?"

"Not in so many words. I talked to Jensen over at the lodge and I can get the big dining room for the Friday after Christmas."

"You're really going to do this before you go meet his family for New Years?"

"We'll if they don't like me there's nothing that they can do about it then now can they?"

"They'll like you Jess. Don't ever worry about that." He sat back and looked at his baby sister. She wasn't a baby anymore. She hadn't been for a long time. Jess had been mopping up his messes for a lot of years. "As long as you're happy Jess you get married anywhere you please."

"I wanted Vegas but Derek said it might not fly with either of our parents." Cody laughed.

"I don't know about his but Jackie would have you drawn and quartered."

"I sensed that from her." Jess stood up. "I'll make that call if you want me to. I never seen you stressed over anything like this in a long time."

"No, I better do it Jess. It's all Jen has left of Aaron."

"She has those ten years of memories Cody. Nothing can take that away."

"I know." He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello." Cody closed his eyes. He didn't want to do this.

"Jen, Cody Hawkes."

"Cody! I was just thinking about you."

"All good thoughts I hope."

"Is there any other kind? How's Sarah and the kids?"

"Good. The boys just had there one month check up. Everything's good. How about Blake and the girls?"

"Great. Thanks for the card for Erin's birthday. It's so great you and your family remember us."

"I love to take credit but that's all Jess. She's got this huge calendar."

"We'll thank her for me."

"I will. Jen have you talked to Jake Lawson lately?"

"Not since Labor Day. Why?"

"Just before Thanksgiving he had a stroke. I didn't know until a few hours ago that he hadn't been up there in over a month."

"What happened to the lodge Cody?"

"Some frost damage from what Matt could tell. Inside and out. The roof buckled a bit but it can be repaired. Jen it's been snowing like nobody's business up here since Halloween. There's no way we can get somebody up there by next week to fix things."

"The girls were looking forward to seeing the twins and Ava."

"You're still welcome. Jess and Matt have been keeping things running here at the station and hardly make it home to sleep let alone anything else. Matt said your welcome to his place for a week or two."

"Cody I couldn't put your bother out like that."

"He wants to see you and Blake. And Jess is getting married on the twenty-sixth. She wanted you here."

"Jess is getting married. To who? Cutler?"

"God no. She met an FBI agent when they came to help with an investigation."

"Good for her. Well then I guess we can take Matt's hospitality. Blake can go up to the lodge and see what needs to be done."

"Matt went up and did what he could this morning. There were some hunters in the neighborhood starting their tents on fire. I'm kind of glad they did or we would have never found out about the damage."

"I guess I should be thankful for people's stupidity."

"My family wouldn't have jobs if it wasn't for stupidity. Tell the girls and Blake we can't wait to have them. My mom will be in heaven with all the kids here."

"Thank you Cody. Your always looking out for me."

"I promised Aaron. Talk soon Jen." He hung up. Jess was leaning against the door frame.

"Not so bad?"

"Not so bad. When are you done here?"

"I'm working a double."

"Jess Shep said take it easy."

"Does it look like I'm overtaxing myself?" Cody looked at her. "I haven't even lifted a pencil since lunch."

"Jen and her family are coming next week."

"I'll have Matt get the cleaning crew to hit the cabin the day before they get here."

"Thanks Jess. It really sounded like she needed to come out here."

"Anything for Jen. If I don't see you before you go home, have a good night." Jess turned around and walked away. Cody turned off his lamp and gathered his files. It was only Monday and the week was already dragging.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt sat at his desk. He checked his watch. It was nearly ten and the night had been quiet. He hadn't even seen Jess and Flynn since dinner. He got up and shut down his computer and headed to the kitchen. Flynn and Hart were playing cards.

"Where's Jess?"

"Weight room I think. She said something about kicking ass and I ran the other direction." Matt smiled.

"You're afraid of a girl Benji?"

"That one I am. Apparently you haven't seen my childhood trauma records. They have Jess's name written all over them." Hart laughed.

"I hear all these stories. Was Jess really such a bad ass as a kid?" Matt laughed.

"Two words. Broken jaw."

"Oh yeah I recall that story. Just before you left for college right?"

"Yeah. If I had to go with my jaw wired I would of skinned her alive." Matt grabbed a couple of water's from the fridge and headed to the weight room. "Jess?"

"Whatever they said I did I didn't do it." Matt walked in and she was sitting on a bench lifting small weights, exercising her shoulders.

"No one said anything."

"Good. They better keep it that way." She looked at him. "I got a call while you were on the phone to Sacramento."

"Something come up?"

"It was Folsom prison."

"That's never good."

"Sarah's ex is up for parole."

"When?"

"Thursday."

"Nothing like giving us notice."

"All they have to give us is forty-eight hours."

"They call Sarah yet?"

"They said they sent her a letter last week."

"Cody never said anything."

"Maybe Sarah didn't tell him."

"Knowing Sarah she'd try to protect him."

"Cody finds out he's going to fly off the handle."

"I can talk to Sarah. Maybe we can head up there and he doesn't need to know."

"How does that work."

"Tell him we're going wedding shopping and have mom and dad watch the kids?"

"Wedding plans without mom?"

"Okay. I got nothing."

"Who's off on Thursday?"

"Me, Flynn and Robin."

"Okay, I'll get Robin to work so you and I can go. Sarah should come. It would give the board a human factor."

"He already signed over his rights to Ava Matt. His lawyer will argue that he has no more ties to her."

"You get on finding anything we can against that bastard and talk to Sarah. He almost killed Cody once; I don't want him to decide he wants to finish the job." Jess got up and took off her gloves.

"You don't think he'd come for them?"

"Huge McKnight was a mean son of a bitch four years ago Jess. I can't see him becoming a sparkling ray of sunshine in a place like Folsom."

"I'll take a shower and head over to Cody's."

"It's too late to call in any favors in Sacramento."

"Wake people up if you have to. Cody and Sarah can't go though this again." Jess went to take a shower and Matt went to see if he still had some miracles up his sleeve.


	3. Chapter 3

Resolutions

Chapter Three

"Jess!" Sarah answered the door. "Cody said you were working all night."

"I still am. Is Cody around?"

"He's chopping wood in the back. You need him?"

"No, I need to talk to you."

"They called you didn't they?"

"Yeah. They want us to come to Hugh's hearing."

"Yeah, me too."

"I was hoping to keep Cody out of this."

"Keeping it from him will only make it worse Jess. I know you're all about protecting him but he'll be more hurt if we go behind his back."

"I know." Jess sat down. "It's going to tear him apart." Sarah looked at her sister in law.

"Cody's a different man then who he was four years ago Jess. You know that. Ava and the boys, they made him stronger, more in control."

"I think you had a part in that too Sarah. Ava saved him but you made sure he never sunk back into that hole. I can't live with myself if anything put him back there."

"Then we should all go together. The four us can stand together. Hawkes united and all that." She laughed.

"Yeah." Jess smiled as she heard the back door. "You ready for this Sarah?"

"It's better then the alternative." Taking a deep breath she smiled as Cody walked into the room. He looked at his wife and sister.

"I was only gone twenty minutes. What did I miss?" Sarah looked at Jess. Jess stood up. Sarah took a step and took Cody's hand. "You two are scaring me. What's going on?"

"Hugh has a parole board appearance on Thursday." Jess saw the anger flash in her brother's eyes and his fist ball up. Sarah put her hand on his shoulder and instantly his fists relaxed but the storm in eyes remained.

"He hasn't done nearly enough time for what he did."

"His lawyer thinks he has. Cody we can go and fight this. But you need to go in there with a clear head. And you need to check your temper at the door." He looked at her.

"You think I can't handle this?"

"I think your judgment is clouded by your emotions."

"I can control myself Jess." He looked at Sarah and took her in his arms. "I won't do anything to screw this up. Hugh McKnight will not set foot out of that prison if I have anything to do with it."

"If any of us have anything to do with it." Jess remembered what Hugh had done to Cody like it was yesterday. He had been bruised and broken. You could still faintly see the scars the knife made on his right side. "I have to get back to work. We'll talk more tomorrow." Jess turned and headed out the door. Cody caught her better arm as she headed off the porch.

"I can handle this Jess." She turned around.

"I believe you." She turned to leave but he didn't let go of her arm.

"I need you to know I can do this Jess." She took a step up and stood in front of him.

"I sat by your bedside and prayed ever day that that bastard would pay for what he did to Sarah, Ava and you. I watched him laugh when the jury found him guilty and lean over to his lawyer and tell him he'd be out in half the time they gave him. I watched you get angry and I watched you lash out at all of us. Then it was over and I thought it would stay over. I can't deal with that man Cody. The man you became because of Hugh was not my brother. Sarah changed you, made you the person you are now. The man I grew up with."

"Jess I would never do that to Sarah or you. I learned from my mistakes." Jess went back up the steps and took Cody's face in her hands.

"I'm holding you to that Cody. Because I'm not strong enough right now to hold you back. Or pick you up if you fall. Hell I can't even pick up a friggin' gun if the bastard tries to escape." He kissed her forehead and leaned his against hers.

"I promise I'm stronger then I've ever been. I can handle anything McKnight throws at us." He hugged his sister. "You better get back before boss man thinks you headed for higher ground." She pushed herself away.

"Go take care of your wife. She'll need all the support we can give her." Flynn was waiting for her on his snowmobile. She got on and waved to her brother. She hoped he was strong enough because if she had a chance she'd kill the bastard.

"You think he'll be okay?" Flynn asked.

"God I hope so." She leaned her head against Flynn's back and prayed that it would all work out.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt sat across from Jess at the kitchen table. She had a cup of tea and looked a little pale. He assumed the trip to Cody's hadn't gone well.

"He wants to come."

"There's nothing we can do about that Jess. He was one of Hugh's victims."

"It's not going to be pretty Matt."

"Life is messy Jess. Cody's stronger when we're together."

"I hope so." She looked down at her cup. "I have a bad feeling about this Matt. A really bad feeling."

"I guess we just have to play it out."

"I know. I just can't get the picture of Cody lying on that cliff bleeding. He would have died to protect Ava."

"And McKnight would have killed his own child. We have to make the parole board see what kind of monster he really is."

"I'll pull all the files. I have them upstairs." He looked at her.

"You weren't spending your time rehashing bad memories up there?"

"No I wanted them safe if something like this ever came up."

"You pent up anger isn't healthy Jess. For either of you." He motioned to her still flat belly.

"I'm fine big brother. Really."

"I'm staying here tonight. I fell better if I have your back."

"You need sleep Matt."

"I'll sleep better knowing your right under me if something comes up. I know, don't say it. But until Derek gets back I feel like I need to take extra special care of the both of you." Jess smiled.

"Your trying to beat out Cody for best big brother aren't you?"

"I'm I getting close?" She looked into his eyes.

"Neck and neck. Go to bed Matt." Jess got up and put her cup in the dishwasher and headed to the lounge.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"HMR Jess Hawkes how can I help you?" It was midnight and Jess wasn't in the mood for lost, drunk snowmobilers.

"Hey how's my girls?"

"How do you know it's a girl?"

"I just do."

"We're good. Missing daddy."

"Not as much as I miss you mama." Jess smiled. "Something's wrong, I can hear it in your voice."

"Sarah's ex has a parole board appearance on Thursday."

"How are they taking it?"

"Better then I expected but I have a feeling things are going to get worse before they get better."

"Just take it one day at a time. Cody's stronger then you think. He got us off that mountain and he stayed cool till the end. I think he can handle it."

"I wish you were here to hold my hand."

"Me too baby. How's the wedding plans going?"

"Slow. I had to stop a million times today for work stuff." Derek laughed. "How about you?"

"Got it covered. We caught a case in Arizona. We leave in an hour."

"Bad?"

"Bad enough to call us."

"Tell everyone I said hello and to stay safe. Call me when you can."

"You know I will. You really should get texting on your phone."

"Then all the kids would want it and the bills would sky rocket."

"Just admit you're afraid of technology Ranger Hawkes."

"Hey I have a lap top and the internet."

"And if you didn't have to use it for work you wouldn't even turn it on."

"I would to. How do you think I order Cutler his porn?"

"Jess what I'm I going to do with you?"

"Marry me and have beautiful babies together?"

"Sounds like a plan. Rossi's chomping at the bit I need to go. I love you and talk soon."

"Love you too. Be careful."

"You know I will." He hung up and Jess did the same. Flynn came and sat across from her.

"You look like dog poo my friend."

"Always the charmer Benji."

"Cooper and Hart are making rounds. Why don't you let me take over the phones and you head upstairs. Shep will ground you till spring if he sees those black spots under your eyes."

"I have a mother. You met her. About five six, blond, makes a kick ass cherry pie. I don't need another one."

"I can call her. She comes here and sees the way you look she'll drag your ass to bed herself."

"Okay…I'll go. I now know why you're single and staying that way." She got up. "Just don't be a hero. You need something Matt and me are right upstairs."

"Yeah, yeah." Jess slowly made it up the stairs. Instead of going to her old room she went to the bunk room and laid down on the cot next to Matt's.

"Flynn send you up here?"

"Yes."

"Yeah he pretty much kicked my ass out of my office. I think he's planning a rebellion."

"I think he wants your job. He likes bossing people around more then you do."

"You wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't such a hard ass." Jess laughed. Matt never even raised his voice if he didn't have to.

"That's it. That's why I've stuck around all these years. I love the abuse."

"Night Jess." Matt said sleepily.

"Night Matt. Sweet dreams." They were both out in minutes.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Thank you all for reading and taking the time to tell me how I'm doing. As always I don't own anything or pretend I do. The voices in my head are the only things that belong to me alone. Keep reading and enjoy because it's always fun to share!!


	4. Chapter 4

Resolutions

Chapter Four

Tuesday morning dawned bright and clear. Jess had slept better then she had in weeks. Matt had done the same by the sound of him whistling in the shower. But when Jess sat up the good nights sleep went straight out the window. Her stomach started turning and she bolted for the bathroom. That's where Cody found her twenty minutes later.

"Welcome to morning sickness." He handed her a wet wash cloth. "You never did well with any kind of sickness." She looked at him. His blue eyes bright. He was loving this.

"Bite me brat." He handed her two crackers.

"Eat these before you try to stand up."

"Even when I'm mean to you you're nice to me lately. What gives?"

"This is just the beginning Jess. Labor is going to make those last two avalanches you were in look like a walk in the park. I'm just preparing you for what's to come. I may not always be nice but I do tell the truth." Matt came to the door.

"I thought she died in here."

"No such luck. It would have made a nice ice breaker at family events though." Cody took a step back prepared for the fist aimed at his thigh. "So what do you two have planed for today?"

"Jess has a doctor's appointment with Shep and I have a million things to do before Jen and Blake come up. You just get here?"

"No, I've been here since six. Sarah and the kids are spending the day with mom and dad." Jess looked up and felt her stomach drop and threw up yet again. Cody backed up. "Come on Jess aim would ya."

"Thanks guys. Now get the hell out of here." She pushed the door shoving Matt and Cody out the door.

"She's not taking well to morning sickness."

"You think?" Jess's phone rang and Matt grabbed it and answered it. "Matt Hawkes."

"Jess okay?" It was Derek.

"If you call having full fledged, bring you to your knees morning sickness okay then baby sisters just peachy."

"Oh poor thing. I wish I was there."

"No you don't. Jess is giving Linda Blair a run for her money. You want me to have her call you?"

"I try back later. Tell her I really am sorry."

"Just save those for the delivery room. Take care."

"Yeah, you too." Matt hung up and threw Jess's phone on the bed.

"Make sure she gets to her appointment and I think Cutler's getting released. The two of you can handle him today. I'm not in the mood." Robin came upstairs. "Hey."

"Hi. Charlie just called from Stoney's. Some kids with four wheelers came by. He said they looked no more then ten or twelve. Headed up the mountain."

"School get out early?"

"I called. Their last day is next Tuesday."

"Okay, get the snowmobiles ready. Have Cooper man the phone till Jess gets back. You, me and Frank will check out the kids. I guess I can add truant officer to our list of many duties." He looked at Cody. "Lay off Jess. This isn't her idea of fun."

"I know." He gave her a few more minutes and knocked on the door. "How are you doing in there?"

"I might be able to stand upright soon."

"Give it a minute or two. I'll be waiting. Brush your teeth before you come out though."

"Thanks. How are you doing?"

"Not to bad. I thought about a lot of things last night. I figure between what McKnight did to Ava and Sarah and what he did to me when we went to arrest him there's no way he's getting out of prison so soon." The water was running so Cody knew she must be standing up at least.

"I would hope so." Jess opened the door with her toothbrush in her mouth.

"What time is your appointment?"

"Twenty minutes. I was thinking why don't we bring Cutler here. He can have my old room and we can all take care of him."

"Do any of us want that?" Jess looked at him.

"I know he can be a pain in the ass Cody but we're all he has. I still want to call that bitch sister of his and tell her off."

"Not worth your breath Jess. Come on we better get to the hospital before Shep thinks your drumming up more business for him." Jess grabbed her jacket and they headed to the hospital.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jim Cutler sat on the edge of the bed trying to stop the room from spinning. If he told Shep he couldn't stand up without getting dizzy he's be spending another night in the hospital. He wasn't going to do that if he could help it.

"You ready to break out of this place?" Cody came into the room.

"Damn straight. Did you draw the short stick?"

"In more ways then one. Jess had an appointment with Shep and some orthopedic guy. We thought we'd pick you up while we were here."

"They still have that wheel you down in a chair policy don't they?"

"Last I checked. Why?"

"I get a little winded and the room starts to spin."

"Maybe you should be telling this to someone with an MD behind his name."

"Cody, I can't spend another night in here. I'm going stir crazy. Please. It'll pass."

"You know if you die my sister will kick your ass?"

"I heard rumors. I don't plan on dying man just not walking up a mountain real soon. How are you doing? I heard about McKnight getting a parole hearing."

"A hearing is all it is. There's no way that bastards getting out after only four years." Cutler looked at his friend.

"I with you there. How's Sarah?"

"Doing better then I expected. We both are. No parole board in their right minds would even listen to McKnight."

"I don't see that ever happing. With the kidnapping, abuse and stabbing you the guy shouldn't even of had this chance for another three years at least." Cutler didn't want to talk about bad things anymore. He lay down to make the room stop spinning again. "How's Jess's wedding plans going?"

"There not. Between work and McKnight she hasn't had time to make much headway. I know she already has the big room at the lodge booked but I think that's it."

"Knowing Jess that's all she'll need. Get married, have some dinner, a toast and she's out of there."

"Yeah like my mother would let that happen." Cody sat down on the chair next to Cutler's bed. "She's been waiting for this since Jess started liking boys." Cody laughed.

"I thought she got the big wedding thing out of her system when you and Sarah did it up right."

"I would think so but I have this feeling Jess is in for a rude awaking when mom starts putting her two cents in." Shep came into the room.

"You boys look cozy. Plan on taking up space for another day Cutler?"

"Not if you can help it." Shep looked at Cutler's pale face.

"How bad is it?"

"I just get winded."

"You can't be alone and getting up and down Jim. You lung is almost healed but I don't want to take a chance."

"He's staying at the station. He's got more then enough people with medical training to keep an eye on him."

"Okay. But I have spies every where." Shep looked at Cody. "Jess is getting and x-ray of her shoulder and then she should be up. It looks good. She has full range of motion. Just keep her from lifting more then a few pounds."

"Yeah right. I have a better chance of keeping Cutler on bed rest for the next month." Shep signed some papers.

"Two down ten to go. You guys better stay healthy. Anymore of you take a hit and the whole mountain will go to hell in a hand basket." He looked at Cody. "Three weeks for this clown and another week for little sister. Got that?" Cody looked at him and smiled.

"Yeah. You sure you don't want to moonlight in the mountains Shep?"

"Yeah and break my leg chasing after you. I don't think so. Thanks for the job offer Ace but this ski bum's done skiing." He waved to his old friends and left.

"I miss that man." Cutler said and smiled. "Well I guess I should get some clothes on." He looked at Cody. "You did bring me some clothes." Cody looked at him and shrugged. A bag flew across the room and on to the bed.

"If I would have left this nut in charge he would have forgotten under ware." Jess came in and bounced on the bed. "How's life treating you Jimmy?" He closed his eyes.

"They giving out happy pills in x-ray?"

"Just my sunny disposition." They both laughed. "What?"

"An hour ago you were puking your guts out." She wrinkled her nose.

"You had to share that." Cutler looked at his friend. She looked really good considering what she had been though the last few weeks.

"Are you okay?"

"Morning sickness." She blushed. He smiled. Not much embarrassed Jess Hawkes but it seemed a little aqward to her to be talking to him about this one thing.

"You don't anything get you down for to long kiddo. This won't be any different." Jess stood up.

"Get dressed. I need a cup of coffee. Anyone else?" They both shook their heads. "Your loss. I'll be back in ten minutes you better be ready." She was gone again in an instant.

"How's she really doing?"

"As far as I know she's fine. This morning was a little rough but other then that. I don't what Thursday's going to bring but I think she'll handle it."

"And you and Sarah?"

"I think we'll be okay."

"Good. I don't need to worry about you guys while I'm waiting to feel better." He sat up slowly and started to get dressed.

"If you need help man, don't be afraid to ask."

"You know I won't."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess sat and sipped her coffee in the small waiting room. Things were getting more complicated every day. She wasn't sure she could take much more of this rollercoaster. Her phone rang. Flipping it open she put it to her ear.

"Ranger Hawkes."

"Jess, what's wrong?" It was Derek.

"Nothing. Everything's peachy."

"Now I know something's wrong because your brother used those same words this morning."

"Stop worrying about me okay."

"Jess…." She knew this wasn't how she wanted to talk to Derek this morning. Maybe if she hung up and faked disconnection.

"Derek this isn't…who the hell am I kidding?" She laughed. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what the hell is happening to me."

"You need to take it easy baby. Stressing out isn't going to help things."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jess. You're getting worked up about things you have no control over. Take some deep breaths and relax."

"What would I do without you?"

"I hope you never have to find out. I have to go. I love you baby."

"I love you too." She hung up and stared at her phone. "I'm loosing my mind."

"Keep talking to yourself like that and the rest of us will believe it too." Cody came up behind her with Cutler in a wheelchair being pushed by a nurse.

"Yeah. I better watch where I'm doing that then huh." She looked at Cutler. "They cutting you loose?"

"Only if my friends will have me." Jess smiled.

"Always Jimmy." She stood up. "Let's blow this place."


	5. Chapter 5

Resolutions

Chapter Five

"Robin please." Matt looked at the blond woman sitting on the snowmobile next to him.

"They're spoiled brats Matt."

"Spoiled brats who need to get back on the trail and home before dark."

"Matt they ran from us. Made us chase them for twenty miles."

"They're kids Robin. Get them back to the trail and make sure they make it back to town."

"Where are you going?"

"I have a stop to make before I head down. Tell Cody to hold down the fort. I should be back in a couple of hours." He looked at her. "I have to something for Jess okay. I know how you feel about me putting my family ahead of business."

"Matt, do what you have to." She started her snowmobile and herded the kids toward the trail." Matt shook his head and started his and headed in the opposite direction. He took the trail that would bring him to his dad's place in less the twenty minutes. Why the box was up there he didn't know. All his mother told him was to pick it up and to be careful with it. It was going to be a long week if his mother was going to have him run all over the mountain for Jess's wedding.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Cooper!" Jess was looking at the mess on the front desk. "I leave for an hour and you mess with my whole system!" The younger man looked around the door frame from the kitchen.

"Sorry Jess. Long night and even longer morning." He got the garbage can and took his coffee cups and empty wrappers off the desk. Jess sat down. "I really am sorry."

"Yeah." Jess looked at the papers in front of her. "I'm sorry I snapped at you Cooper." Grabbing some letters she filed them and put stamps on some more. Cody watched her. Cooper came back in the kitchen.

"We need to get her married, or laid or whatever Cody. She's wound tight." Cody sipped his coffee.

"Just don't piss her off for the next week and you'll keep your family jewels where God intended them to be."

"You're just going to let her treat us like that?" Cody looked at him.

"She always treats you like that. You always leave your crap on the front desk. If she gets out of line I'll deal with it." Cooper rolled his eyes.

"Sure you will." He said under his breath. Cody set his cup down and Izzy stepped between the two men.

"Cody…"

"Don't you ever think that just because Jess is who she is she will not get an ass chewing if she steps out of line. Apparently you haven't been around long enough to figure that out. Keep it up and you won't be here long enough too." Cody turned and headed to the weather room. Izzy looked at Cooper.

"I suggest you watch what your say and who you say it to for the next couple of days. This has nothing to do with garbage lying around or who gets what kind of ass chewing around here. Just think about it." Cooper looked at Izzy. He'd forgotten about the parole hearing and what it meant if Hugh McKnight walked out of Folsom in three days.

"I should say something,"

"Just let it go Coop. It'll pass. Just think before you smart off."

"I didn't mean anything by it."

"Yeah. Get out of here and get some rest." Cooper grabbed his coat and headed out the back door before Cody decided to come back out and finish chewing him out. Izzy poured Jess a cup of tea and set it on the desk in front of her.

"Thanks for putting out that fire."

"Anytime Jess. Just don't start anymore today. I thought Cody was going to plow right though me."

"Sorry. I just can't help myself today."

"Must have been the good night sleep I guess." Izzy had always been somewhat of a non talker when it came to most things. "If you need anything Jess, Clair and I will be willing to help you out." Jess smiled.

"Thanks Izzy. I may take you up on that." The phone rang. "High Mountain Rangers, Jess Hawkes. How may I help you?"

"Jess its Sheriff Weaver."

"Hey Sheriff what can I do for you."

"I need a tracker. You or one of your brother's free?"

"I can call Matt and see where he is. If not I'm sure Cody can help. What do you need?"

"I'm between Chambers Lodge and Homewood. I have a car with one occupant and a gunshot wound to the head."

"I'll have someone there within the hour."

"Thanks Jess."

"Anytime Sheriff." She hung up and grabbed the radio. "Flying Tiger this is base."

"Go ahead base."

"Sheriff Weaver over in Placer County is looking for a tracker. You close?"

"Not even close. Send Ace. He lives for the hunt. Have him take Izzy with him"

"I'm on it. When are you coming in?"

"An hour or so. I had to run an errand for mom."

"Okay. Don't take too long. You two might be needed if the phone doesn't stop ringing."

"Robin isn't with me. Isn't she back yet?" Jess looked up when the door slammed.

"Just walked in." Jess watched as she pitched her boots in the corner and stomped upstairs. "Flying Tiger, Frost Bite just brought a cold front and it's moving in fast."

"Whatever just get Cody and Izzy on that track."

"Yes sir." Jess put down the radio and picked up the phone and buzzed Cody. "Ace your up." Cody came in and grabbed his coat.

"What do you have?"

"Placer County needs a tracker between Chambers Lodge and Homewood. Take Izzy."

"Okay. " Izzy grabbed his coat and they both headed out the door. Jess looked at the clock. Getting up she went to the kitchen to make some lunch. Robin was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hi." Jess went to the fridge. "You want something for lunch. My mom cleaned out her freezer. We have a ton of stuff."

"No thanks." Jess pulled out a dish and read the label. Taking off the lid she put it in the microwave and turned to look at Robin.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Jess sat down next to her.

"Robin please. I know that look. It's the one you get when my brother said something and you didn't have time for a decent come back."

"He just thinks I don't get his commitment."

"To what?"

"The job, your family. I do. Why can't he see that?"

"Because he knows that if he lets you in chances are at some point it's all going to be over. He doesn't want to risk loosing everything with you. If it means pushing you back to where you were before."

"Jess we can never go back to just being friends."

"I know. He thinks me and Cutler have this great thing. That our friendship lasted out our horrible romantic relationship."

"Didn't it?"

"Robin there are days when I can't stand to be in the same room as the man. He irritates me and intimidates me. There have been days I've just wanted to have angry sex with him just to get it out of my system. But that's the kind of relationship we had. He cheated and I got pissed and we fought and in the end we'd spend a week in bed. If he hadn't of taken the skier into our bed we might still be on that rollercoaster. You and Matt are different. You respect each other. It's so different." The microwave beeped. Jess buttered some bread and put the dish on a tray.

"You'd never even think about a life with Cutler?" Jess turned around.

"I had three more years before I had to make that call. We decided when we broke up three years ago that we would reevaluate our lives when I was thirty five and he was forty five."

"Well I guess finding Morgan was a good thing. You might have had to marry Cutler."

"He's not so bad if you take away the cheating, sarcasm and the bull headedness." Jess poured a glass of milk and put it on the tray. Clipping the phone to her belt she took the tray. "Just let Matt get thought the week and he'll be back on track like the rest of us." Jess started upstairs and stopped and turned. "And for the record angry sex fixes everything." Jess smiled and brought the trey to Cutler.

"Jess, thanks."

"Has the room stopped spinning?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Jess set the trey down on the table.

"Good. I'll be back up when someone comes in to man the phones."

"Okay. Thanks again Jess." Jess smiled and headed back down stairs to the front desk. The radio crackled.

"Ace to Lady Hawke." Jess sat down and put her head phones on.

"Go ahead Ace."

"We're going to be awhile. We have two sets of tracks and the dogs lost the scent but I still have the track."

"Okay. Stay warm." Matt came in. "Where were you big brother?"

"None of your business. What's Cody got?"

"He still has a good track. The dogs even lost it."

"That's our Cody. Robin?"

"In the kitchen last time I saw her." He blew out the air in his lungs.

"I should go talk to her." Jess looked at him.

"Now isn't the time for any of us to confront anyone. We're all on edge. Just say your sorry or whatever and let it go. I nearly took off Coopers head and Cody nearly flattened him."

"I know. I felt the tension when I walked in. How's Cutler?"

"I fed him and watered him."

"Good for you." He walked into the kitchen. Robin was sitting at the table. "Kids get home okay?"

"Yeah. Their parents said to say thank you."

"Good. My mom wants you to stop by after work. She and Sarah have some things they want to ask you about Jess and the wedding."

"She hasn't talked to me much about anything."

"I'm just relaying the message." He took a cup and got some coffee. "Are we playing this game because of something I said or didn't say?" He sat down across from her.

"I didn't mean to sound bitchy this morning. I…I guess I just thought we'd have some time together."

"With six preteen boys?"

"Not the point. In the last two weeks other then work you've been over a three times."

"Sorry in between avalanches and injured employees and keeping my brother from going off the deep end I've had all but three hours to do anything else. Now if you'll excuse me." He stood up and took his cup into his office and slammed the door.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess looked at her watch. Hart was do in soon and she still had a few dozen things to get done. She's be working late again. She looked up to see Matt in his office. He kept pretending he was filling out paper work but Jess knew something was wrong. The door slamming after leaving the kitchen was a big clue. Now wasn't the time for her to go console her bother. There was too much to do. Robin came in once and left when her shift ended at four. The whole place was falling down around them. After Thursday Jess promised herself she would clean up the messes the last two weeks had made.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Izzy it's getting dark. Radio Jess and tell her we'll pack it in at Placer Creek. There's an old hunting cabin there. Maybe that's where these guys are headed." Cody looked at the tracks left by the man and the woman they had been following most of the day.

"You got it." Izzy turned on his radio. "Pocatello Kid to Lady Hawk. Come in Lady Hawke."

"Lady Hawke here. How's the weather out there?"

"A balmy ten degrees. We're packing it in at Placer Creek. Cody says there's an old hunting cabin there we can hold up in if the bad guys didn't get there first. We have two Sheriff's search and rescue boys here with us."

"Ten four. I'll let your wives know there in for a lonely night." Matt came in.

"Was that Cody?"

"Izzy. They're staying at the hunting cabin on Placer Creek." Matt looked at the map on the wall.

"I don't like them staying out there with a killer or killers on the loose."

"You want me to send some more of the Sheriff's men out that way?"

"No. I just worry. I know they both are more then capable. Hart's got point tonight and Jacobs is back from vacation."

"Flynn's on at six too. Cody was on flight call."

"I'll take that."

"You hate flying."

"I do it when I have to."

"I can do it Matt."

"Not with your shoulder and the wind is suppose to pick up tonight. If you have to go up in it you might hurt it more then it already is." He looked at her. "I don't want to fight with you today to Jess."

"You won't have to. I won't ask how it went with Robin."

"Thanks. She just doesn't get that I can't drop things and spend time together. When we were just friends it all kind of fit, you know?"

"Yeah. Let's stay away from all talk that could lead to an emotional discussion at this time. You staying here tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Me too. I'll cook…heat up dinner."

"Okay. I got the radio and phone." Jess got up and stopped in front of her brother.

"When this is over we need to clean up our messes."

"I know." The both looked when they heard something on the stairs. Cutler was nearing the bottom. "What the hell are you doing out of bed?" Jess took three steps to help him the rest of the way down.

"I was going crazy up there alone. Don't make me go back up there Jess." She smiled.

"Okay. Go sit down before you fall down. I was just about to put dinner in the oven. Matt make sure this clown behaves himself."

"That's asking a little too much don't you think." Cutler sat on the comfortable chair across the desk from Matt. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now that I can see something besides Jess's snow board and stash of ruined jackets." Matt laughed.

"I told her to throw those things out."

"She never throws anything out."

"Yeah I think I remember seeing her retainer from the eight grade in a box somewhere." Matt looked at his friend who finally got some color back in his cheeks. "You look better my friend. I was worried there for a while."

"You don't have to worry about me Matt. I'm too friggin ornery to die."

"That's what my dad always says. One of these days it's going to bite both of you in the ass." Jess came back into the room.

"Dinner's in the oven and the salad is made." Hart came in.

"Please tell me you didn't cook Jess." She glared at him.

"Just for that Tim I should make you starve. No I did not cook it. My mother did." She turned and left the room.

"Not a good day to piss her off Hart." Matt said. "She's taken Cooper down today and given the chance you could be next."

"I keep forgetting. She used to have such a sunny disposition." Hart took off his gloves and hung up his jacket. "How's business?"

"Cody and Izzy are tracking a couple who might have killed a man on highway eighty nine near Homewood."

"That's some heavy forest up that way."

"Well you know Cody once he gets a bone."

"Don't I know it. " Jess called everyone for dinner. Matt grabbed the phone and a radio. Flynn came flying though the door.

"Should have known he wouldn't miss a meal." Jess said as she set another place. Benji could smell her mom's lasagna a mile away.


	6. Chapter 6

Resolutions

Chapter Six

Cody was up before the sun. He put on a pot of coffee and went outside. It was cold. He knew it would be. Leaning against the railing he thought about home and Sarah. It's funny how much he missed them. Till Sarah he never missed anything so much. His phone rang. Taking out of his pocket he answered it.

"Hi."

"Morning."

"I miss you."

"Good the kids miss you."

"What about their mother?"

"Oh she misses you too. Very much."

"I love you Sarah. I'll be home by lunch"

"I love you too Cody. Get back to work and find your bad guys so you can get home to the good guys."

"You know it." He hung up. If they could make it though tomorrow they would make it though anything.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Mornings were not beginning well for Jess lately. Matt knocked on the door of the bathroom.

"Are you okay Jess?"

"Go away Matt and take your friend and his sunshine attitude." Matt looked at Cutler sitting on the chair.

"Pissing her off already, Jimmy it's not even seven o'clock." Cutler put up his hands.

"I was sitting here and she ran in there and all I said was 'good morning'." Matt looked at him.

"I think that was two words that aren't going to work this morning." He leaned against the wall. "Cody called Jess; he'll be back in an hour. They found the two people from the car. The wife of the vic and her boyfriend."

"Good for him." Jess wasn't in the mood to talk.

"I'll go downstairs with Cutler and get some breakfast."

"Bite me." Matt laughed.

"You have your crackers and your phone?"

"Yeah just leave me the hell alone please." Matt and Cutler headed downstairs and left Jess to her misery.

"Is that normal? I mean it sounded like Linda Blair in there?"

"Cody and Sarah said it's normal."

"But she sounded bad man. Like the kid was crawling its way up."

"Yeah well you know how Jess loves to be sick. This is killing her I'm sure." Matt heated the frying pan. "A week and Derek can deal with it. Not that if I had to I could deal with it, I just…hell with everything tomorrow."

"It'll all work out Matt."

"I hope so."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess lay on her cot and took a few deep breaths. Her stomach stopped turning but she still didn't want to go downstairs to Matt cooking eggs and bacon. Her phone rang.

"Hello."

"Jess, how's it going?"

"Better now that my stomach is completely empty." It helped everything to hear Derek's voice. "How's the case?"

"Sick and wrong."

"Aren't they always? I hope its all sunshine and rainbows when you come home."

"As long as your there baby it will be. How was your morning sickness this morning?"

"Worse then yesterday, I think. I might just make it though if Matt keeps the smell of bacon downstairs. I shut the doors and the vents."

"I wish I was there to hold your hair."

"No you don't. I don't care how much you think you love me, it's not pretty Derek."

"I'm a big boy. I can handle it. What time are you leaving for Folsom tomorrow?"

"Around eight I guess. The hearings at eleven thirty."

"If you guys need anything just give me a call."

"I will. I love you Derek."

"Love you too baby." Jess hung up and smiled. Life wasn't too bad. Picking up her phone she brought up Derek's number and entered her first text message. She would show him that she wasn't afraid of technology.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody threw his jacket into his locker and looked at his sister sleeping on the cot across the room. This was going to be a long pregnancy for all of them. Matt told him she'd been sick pretty much since she woke up. He went and sat next to her and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Cody?" She didn't open her eyes.

"How did you know?"

"You smell like you haven't showered for a week. I also smell smoke and evergreen."

"That's what happens when you don't get to sit behind a desk for eight hours."

"Any time you want what I have Cody, feel free." She opened her eyes. "You should get home to your wife."

"I know. I just thought I'd check up on you first. You want me to take you home?"

"Matt wants to keep an eye on me."

"Trying to beat me out for best brother again?"

"I think so. I don't think I could make it down the steps. The smell of bacon is not a good thing when you're fighting morning sickness."

"So I've been told." He stood up. "Call me if you need anything."

"Spend time with your kids and Sarah. Don't worry about me. I have more then enough people downstairs worried my head will start to spin if I don't get my way."

"See I knew this pregnancy thing was just a ploy for others to do your bidding."

"You always knew me best Cody." She closed her eyes and was asleep again before Cody hit the steps.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody slipped on his jacket that hung by the door. He wanted to go home and see his family before coming back for a shift he promised Matt he'd take yesterday.

"You can stay home today. Trainer's back in town. He'll take your shift." Matt stood by the front door.

"Thanks. You got everything covered for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, everyone's pitching in. How's Jess?"

"She passed out again. I think we better think about cutting her some slack in the morning."

"Already done. I don't have her working till three or later the rest of the week. I gave her three weeks off starting Monday."

"She's not going to like being out of the loop that long."

"I think she'll be okay. Derek will be here in a week and it'll all be good. You get home to your family." Cody nodded. "See you later. Mom wants us all for dinner if we can swing it."

"Yeah, I'm sure Sarah won't let me get out of it." He left Matt sitting at the front desk. Cutler came in and sat across from him.

"I can answer phones tomorrow if you want to have the able bodies out on patrol."

"Shep said three weeks Cutler."

"It's answering the phone Matt. I think I can do that with little or no stress to my old decrepit body."

"I'm not saying yes but if everyone needs to take off they know where to find you."

"Okay. Now what's going on with you and Blondie?"

"Who says there's anything going on?"

"Come on Matt I was born in the morning but not this morning. I see the way she looks at you and you look at her when you think the other isn't looking."

"Sound complicated."

"Matt, come on. I'm your best friend."

"You're also a pig when it comes to talking about women."

"You've been talking to your sister again. Come on man you know me better then that. Spill it."

"I'm not talking to you about this Cutler. What ever may or may not have happened between me and Robin is between me and Robin."

"Okay. It took you twenty years to make a move we wouldn't want you to mess it up now would we." He sat back. "Just one last thing and you'll never here another word on the subject. She's a good woman Matt. Don't let her get away."

"That's two things."

"Sue me."

"I know. And I won't. I just need to get though tomorrow with my brother and his family in tacked and Jess on the road to getting her life in order and then I can think about getting my life in order."

"Matt you have to stop trying to make everyone else happy. You deserve to be happy too."

"You should talk."

"I was happy and I blew it." He stood up. "Don't piss it away my friend." He started upstairs then turned it around. "I know what's it like to make the biggest mistake of your life and having to live with it every day." He looked up the steps. "It hurts like hell." He turned and went back up stairs. Hell must have frozen over because Matt was actually thinking about taking Cutler's advice.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Robin pulled next to Sarah's van parked in front of Jessie and Jackie Hawkes house. It was almost six and Jackie had called and asked if she'd be there when Jess came to try on her wedding dress, Robin knew that Jackie needed the moral support. She had been afraid she had gotten hopes up that Jess might want to wear the dress she had married Jessie in. In the twenty some years she had know Jess Hawkes the only time she had worn a dress was to Cody's wedding. Robin got out of her truck and headed to the front door. Sarah was there to meet her.

"Jess just got here." Sarah pulled Robin in and dragged her to the living room. The men were conspicuously absent. "Okay Robin's here." Jackie looked at Jess sitting in her father's chair.

"You don't have to say yes to anything Jess. I just…you can so no."

"You haven't asked the question yet mom." Jackie handed Jess a box. "Mom…what have you done?" Jess set the box on her lap and opened the lid.

"I know its simple and old fashion but…" Jess looked at the white dress in the box.

"It's yours."

"Yes, it is." Jess looked up at her mother.

"Mom…" Tears started down her cheeks. "I…oh mom are you sure?"

"Of course. You're my daughter." Jess ran her hand down the lace.

"I…" Jess couldn't stop herself from crying. She put the dress down on the coffee table and went to her mother and hugged her. Jackie started crying then Robin and Sarah started crying. "I never even thought about a dress let alone…" She pushed away form her mother. "Are you positive?" Jackie looked at the woman that had been her daughter for most of her life.

"Yes Jess. More then anything if you want to wear this then please, wear it. Sarah can fix the hem because you're a bit taller then I was."

"Thank you." She hugged her mom again. "I was just going to wear jeans." Everyone laughed.

"Go in my room and try it on." Jess took the box and went into her parent's room. She opened the box. The dress was nearly fifty years old but it looked brand new. She took off her boots, jeans and t shirt and slowly unzipped the back. Jess knew that she was heavier then her mother had been back then. Most likely the zipper wouldn't close. Sliding it up over her legs she slid her arms in and looked in the full length mirror. It was perfect. The neckline and bodice fit her perfectly. Reaching back she zipped the zipper as far as she could without help. A knock at the door made her turn. It was Sarah.

"Can we come in?"

"Yeah…sure." Sarah came in first and gasped.

"Jess its perfect." Jackie came in and tears started all over again. She went behind her daughter and zipped the zipper to the top.

"After I had Cody I thought I would never see my little girl in this dress." Jackie put her arms around Jess's waist and put her head on her shoulder. "You are so beautiful Jesse Lynne."

"You're my mother you have to say things like that."

"This is true but you are beautiful baby." Jesse picked that moment to walk into the room.

"Jackie the boys…" He looked at the reflection of his daughter in the mirror. "Jess?" She smiled.

"What do you think daddy?" He took another step into the room.

"Amazing." She turned and spread the dress out away from her legs.

"Think Derek will like it?" Jesse smiled.

"I think Derek Morgan would love you in rags but…you're just as beautiful as your mother was standing in that dress." Jackie started to cry again. Cody and Matt some how made it into the room.

"Dear God she is a girl." Cody looked at Jess and Sarah hit him hard on the back of the head.

"So much for nobody seeing the dress before the wedding." Matt looked across the room at Robin sitting on his parents bed. "The table's set mom. The timer just went off." Jackie smiled.

"I better get dinner on the table. You are staying aren't you Robin?"

"I should go." Jess tuned.

"She's staying mom." Jackie shoed the men out of the room and followed them. Sarah followed Cody but Jess stopped Robin. "Stay." Jess tuned her back to her friend. "Unzip me." Robin did as she was told.

"The dress is great Jess."

"Yeah." She slipped out of it and put it gently in the box. "I want you to be my maid of honor." Sliding on her jeans and shirt she looked at Robin.

"Jess…"

"Cutler would look stupid in a dress and I think if he can grow up for five minutes I might ask him to marry us."

"That's not awkward."

"I know right. You're my best girl friend. I want you to be my maid of honor."

"What about Sarah?"

"Sarah can be my other bridesmaid. Please Robin."

"Okay. But don't ask me to get you a stripper for your bachlorette party."

"I'm not having one so you're safe."

"Okay." Robin thought she should change her mind right now but the look on Jess's face made her change her mind.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Dinner was over and Matt and Cody cleared off the table and let Jess talk wedding plans with their parents, Sarah and Robin. They were putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher when one the boys woke up crying.

"I'll finish." Matt told Cody. Cody nodded and went to check on his son. Robin came in a few minutes later with to get her coat off the kitchen coat rack. "Leaving so soon?"

"It's nearly eleven Matt. I have to get up in the morning and get some work done." Matt set down the last pot he was drying and helped Robin get her coat on. He pressed her against the kitchen counter and kissed her slowly, deeply and for a very long time.

"I promise Robin when this is all over I will sit down and figure out what the hell is going on between us. I love the way you make me feel but right now those feelings have to be put aside. I'm asking you Robin Kelly…will you wait two weeks to decide if I'm worth the wait?" Robin smiled and kissed him.

"You have two weeks Hawkes. If you can't figure it out by then I'm out of here." Hugging him close he kissed her one last time.

"I'll see you in the morning."

"If you need me tonight you know where to find me." She slid out from under his arm and went out the back door. Leaning against the counter he smiled. He might just have to find her tonight and give her something to think about for the next two weeks.


	7. Chapter 7

Resolutions

Chapter Seven

The alarm would go off in less then a half hour. Jess looked at her brother asleep in the cot next to her. If she staid laying down maybe the food she ate last night would stay down too. She grabbed a cracker and slowly took a bite.

"You sure you want to do that?" Matt whispered in the dark.

"I'm not sure about anything." Jess smiled.

"I'm sure that today's going to suck."

"Great you go to bed you and wake up Cody."

"Thanks. Just what I needed to here at five o'clock in the morning."

"Anytime I can spread a little sunshine."

"How's you stomach?"

"It's all good if I'm vertical. It's horizontal that makes me retch."

"Thanks for sharing sis."

"You asked. I just answered."

"I'm getting up and getting something to eat. Dare I ask if you'll be joining us?"

"I don't think so. Thanks for the invite though." Matt got up and pulled on his jeans and a t-shirt.

"If you need anything just yell." Jess nodded. "I cleared a path to the bathroom."

"You spoil me Matt." He laughed and headed downstairs. Jess closed her eyes and fought back the nausea.

"You awake Jess?"

"Yeah Cutler. What can I do for you?" He sat on Matt's cot.

"Just got a little lonely. I heard you and Matt talking, thought maybe you wouldn't mind some more company."

"Matt went downstairs but feel free to annoy me." Cutler laughed.

"Any time I can help a friend." She looked at him.

"I never did thank you for saving my ass last week."

"I thought we were done saying that."

"Well sometimes it just has to be said."

"Your welcome." They sat in a comfortable silence for a long time then Jess shifted and looked at Cutler.

"I have something to ask you and if it's too weird or you think it's not right just tell me I won't be offended."

"Jess when in the twenty odd years I've known you have I been afraid of what I say will offend you?"

"Okay point taken. Would it be too weird if you married me and Derek?" Cutler laughed out loud. "I'm glad I can amuse you."

"Oh Jess you always amuse me. Yeah sweetie it's weird but when have we done anything that even resembles normal? If it's okay with Derek hell it's okay by me. I knew that internet thing would come in handy."

"Lucky for me your favorite porn site was down for repair that day." Jess laughed like she hadn't laughed in a long time. Cutler had missed her laugh. Growing up she was always there with a smile and a corny joke to cheer someone up. Now she was all grown up with a child of her own on its way. Where had the time gone? And why had he messed things up with her? It would be a few years before Cutler would finally figure it out. But hey that's Cutler.

*--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Nothing beat morning sickness until you suddenly become afflicted with car sickness. Jess was a particularly lovely shade of green as they passed the gates of Folsom Prison. They only had to stop half a dozen times but they made it with a half hour to spare. Jess got out of the car before Matt could put it into park and took a deep breath of pungent stale air.

"I thought DC had pollution." Jess took a deep breath but held everything down. A man in a suit came up to them.

"Matt, Jess, I'm glad you made it. Cody, Sarah."

"Hi Mike." He looked at Jess leaning on the hood of the car. The states attorney looked doubtful that she was going to live. "Really I clean up quite well." She smiled and Mike looked a little skeptical.

"If you say so. I'll take you guys in and Jess can…freshen up." They headed to the main gate of the prison. Locks opened and guards stood at attention. "I made a motion with the board to consider you an expert witness Jess. With your degrees and back ground it wasn't a problem." Jess nodded and Matt guided her with his hand on her shoulder.

"Feeling any better?" He whispered in her ear.

"The smells in here are not making it better but I can make it." Mike stopped at a door and it was buzzed open. They entered and he led the way stopping at the staff ladies room.

"We'll wait here." Jess walked in and Sarah followed.

"Was he always such a jerk?" Sarah laughed.

"Yeah. He went to law school with Matt." Jess washed her face and Sarah handed her a brush and a pony tail holder. Ten minutes later she looked someone acceptable. They left the bathroom and headed to the hearing room. They stopped at the door and checked their weapons. The board was assembled in the front of the room. Mike sat at the table on the right. Quietly they waited for Hugh McKnight to enter. Cody leaned over and whispered to Sarah.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine Cody. Just be calm and cool and this will all be over in a little while." He leaned over and kissed her just as the door opened and McKnight was led into the room. After getting him seated Mike stood.

"The people of California put together a strong case against Mr. McKnight four years ago. He was sentenced to a minimum fifteen years in prison. The state is appalled that he would even be considered for parole this early." McKnight's lawyer stood up.

"Mr. McKnight's exemplary behavior shows that he felt remorse for his wrong doings. By signing over custody papers to his wife so her new husband could adopt their child shows he no longer wants to be part of that life." The board looked at both sides then called Mike to call his witness.

"I call Jesse Lynne Hawkes to the table." Jess stood and took her seat in front of the room. "Please give your name and qualifications to testify at this hearing Ms. Hawkes."

"Jesse Lynne Hawkes, I work for a multi jurisdictional police force know as The High Mountain Rangers. I have a master's degree in psychology, sociology, and criminal behavior."

"Have you been involved in this case since the beginning?"

"Yes. We received a fax on May fourth, two thousand four about non- custodial parent abduction. Mr. McKnight's parents owned a summer home in the mountains near Lake Tahoe and the Sacramento police thought maybe he would head up there. We're the closest law enforcement team to the cabin."

"How far away were you when you got the fax?"

"About sixty miles. The spring had been really wet and the road up to the cabin had been washed out. The only way up there was by ATV or dirt bike."

"How did you proceed up to the cabin?"

"Cody…my brother was in charge that day. He was the one that got all the details from the FBI. We took a team of four, us included up with our ATV's. Even with the studded tires we had a hard time most of the way."

"When did you encounter Mr. McKnight?"

"We were on a ridge about a mile from the cabin. Cody and I had found his tracks and found that he'd been walking. He was carrying his daughter in her car seat."

"You saw this?"

"Not at first but when we found his tracks we could tell he was being pulled down on his left side and later we saw drag marks on the same side."

"Are an expert tracker Ms Hawkes?"

"I get by. My brother on the other hand is the best tracker in the state."

"So you found Mr. McKnight and he had his daughter in her car seat."

"Yes. It was one of those bucket ones with the handle. Cody was behind him and I was on the ridge below him. When he heard Cody behind him he dropped the car seat. If I hadn't of been on the ridge below Ava would have fallen over a hundred feet."

"You caught her?"

"Yes…just barley. I had to dive on the three foot wide ridge and caught her. Then McKnight pulled a knife and went after my brother."

"So he not only dropped his child but he attacked an officer of the law."

"Yes."

"Thank you Ranger Hawkes." McKnight's lawyer stood up.

"Did you or your brother identify yourselves when you approached Mr. McKnight?"

"Yes my brother did after he dropped Ava over the edge of the ridge."

"Before he attacked him?"

"Yes."

"My client says no such id was made but that's not the point. Mr. McKnight has made his apologize and has clearly severed all ties with his ex wife and daughter, in your expert opinion Ms Hawkes why shouldn't my client be freed?"

"The board has pictures of Sarah McKnight after the abduction, her face, arms and torso covered in bruises. They also have pictures of Ranger Cody Hawkes covered in bruises and cut half a dozen times with a knife. In my professional opinion Hugh McKnight is a violent man. He may say he has broken all ties with his family but like all predators once he knows his prey he won't let up until they are gone." Hugh smiled. Jess gripped the hand railings of the chair to hold herself down.

"Four years of clean living. He's a changed man Ms Hawkes. A man who is sorry for all he's done."

"Sorry doesn't wipe a way three counts of attempted murder consoler. My brother spent two weeks in the hospital after his run in with Hugh. Sarah spent three days at Ava's bed side until every test was run to make sure she was okay. He hurt people and changed there lives forever." The board looked at Jess. She was on the verge of loosing what little control she had left.

"You may have a seat Ms Hawkes." One of the men said. Jess got up and walked back to her seat between Matt and Cody. Feeling there strength on both sides of her calmed her for the moment. The board looked at the files Jess had sent up. The pictures of Cody's scares and Sarah's bruises. The ones of little eighteen month old Ava, clothes tattered after her tumble.

"After much debate we are wondering why after all the pain and suffering Mr. Knight has caused was he allowed this hearing in the first place. Apparently someone in records left out a few details pertaining to this case." A sober man in a grey suit stood. "This hearing is adjured and Mr. Knight will not be seeing us again for at least another five years, longer if it comes across my desk ever again." The board stood and left. Jess hugged Cody and Sarah. Jess turned to talk to Mike as Matt ushered Cody and Sarah out of the room. What happened next nobody could honestly say. When the smoke cleared Mike Talbot was dead, two guards where wounded, Hugh's lawyer was under the table and Jess Hawkes was on her knees on the floor with a gun pointed to her head. That's the way Cody found things when he turned back after hearing the gunshots. He managed to push Sarah and Matt out the door before it slammed locking down the prison.


	8. Chapter 8

Resolutions

Chapter Eight

"Put the gun down McKnight." Cody stood at the door. "You're never going to get out of here if you shoot anyone else." Jess looked as green as she did on the ride in. Cody kept his eyes on Hugh. "Let my sister go and we'll talk about this."

"You stole my family now I'm going to mess with yours Ranger." He cocked the gun. Jess closed her eyes.

"Come on Hugh. You know what you did. Don't make it worse. Mike was an accident. We can all see that but if you shoot Jess. It's over."

"You took Ava from me. Then Sarah."

"Ava knows who her father is Hugh. She has a picture next to her bed. The one of you and her on the day she was born. We haven't cut you out of her life. I promise you that."

"Does she call you daddy?" Cody swallowed hard.

"Yeah, she does. But she knows you're her father. That you loved her and took care of her until you couldn't anymore." He kept looking into the man's eyes. "When she's old enough we'll bring her to see you. Right now isn't the right time." Cody kept his eyes locked on Huge. He knew Jess would do what she had to. "Come on. Put the gun down and we can make this all go away."

"You don't have that much power Hawkes.'

"Oh I do Hugh. You wouldn't believe the strings I can pull if I have to. We get this over with now before the big guns are called in I can make it go away." Jess was reaching into her boot slowly as Cody talked. "Just put the gun down."

"I'm not falling for your crap Hawkes." He pressed the gun into Jess's temple.

"You shoot her and you're a dead man. They won't even wait for the ink to dry on your verdict." Jess pulled her stun gun out of her boot and rammed it Hugh's crotch. The gun slid forward and Jess ducked. Cody knocked it out of his hand and tacked him. "Jess stay back." Hugh was a good fifty pounds heavier then Cody and stronger in a lot of ways. Jess crawled into the corner.

"Your sister's a bitch." The man growled. Hitting Cody over and over. Jess sat in the corner waiting for her stun gun to recharge.

"That's why you don't mess with her you son of a bitch." Cody rolled over and threw Hugh off of him and mad an effort to reach for the gun three feel away. Jess got up but Hugh lunged for her grabbing her boot and pulling her down. Instinctively Jess wrapped her arms around her waist as she fell. Cody shifted and somehow Hugh got the gun and there was a struggle. The gun went off and both men fell to the ground.

"Cody!" Jess crawled over to him. Hugh's body was on top of Cody. "Cody!" Jess pushed Hugh off as guards came poring in. Blood was seeping from her bothers leg.

"Damn…Jess." He opened his eyes. "I can't leave you alone for a friggin' minute." She hugged him as the guards took Hugh away. "You okay?"

"You're the one bleeding?"

"Not my blood I don't think." Matt and Sarah came in. Jess slid back and wrapped her arms around herself. Sarah went to Cody and Matt bent down to check on her.

"Jess, are you okay?" She looked at Matt.

"Yeah. I forgot to give them my new toy." She showed Matt her stun gun. Think they'll write me up?" Matt took her in his arms.

"Let them try it."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Another hospital room another Ranger down for the count. Cody was okay to go home but his bruised ribs were going to keep him out of service for at least a week. Jess got herself checked and then went out into the parking lot and called Derek.

"Answer please, God let him answer."

"Morgan's phone, Spencer Reid here."

"Hi Spence. Is Derek around?"

"Yeah, he stepped out for a minute. Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I really just need to talk to Derek."

"He's coming. Here he is."

"Hey baby."

"I love you."

"I love you too. What happened?"

"Something has to happen for me to tell you I love you."

"I can hear it in your voice Jess."

"Hugh McKnight's never getting out of prison."

"What happened?"

"His lawyer snuck in a gun. Hugh shot the state's attorney and beat the crap out of Cody." Jess swallowed hard.

"Are you okay?"

"Just a few bumps and bruises."

"I wish I could be there."

"I know. I wish I could be any where but here." She slid down and sat on the ground. "I'm done Derek. I just can't do this any more. Watching Cody get the crap beat out of him, McKnight and the gun. I just can't deal with it."

"Listen to me. You're too strong to let this get you down Jess. Where's Matt?"

"Talking to Cody's doctor."

"Okay just listen. You've dealt with worse. This is just a bump in the road baby. Cody and Matt need you right now. Need you to step up like you always do. Show them you're the strong one."

"You're good."

"I've been told." He laughed. "You going to make it?"

"Knowing you're only a week and a half away, yeah I think I can."

"Go find your brother's they'll tell you the same thing baby. I love you."

"I love you." Jess hung up. Matt was standing in front of her.

"I swear Jess did we break a mirror and someone not tell us?" He slid down next to her. "Good thing is the bastards going to get a needle in his arm for this one."

"Mike's wife. Did you see her?"

"Yeah. She's not to broken up about it. They were in the middle of a messy divorce."

"It all happened so fast Matt. The gun came out of the brief case. Mike was dead before I could turn around."

"You did good Jess. Don't ever doubt yourself."

"I'm getting written up for Sparky aren't I?'

"I think your little bit of voltage won't even make the report. If a gun made it though Sparky is the least of their worries." He looked down at the ground. "Do you want to take the rest of the year off?" Jess smiled.

"That would be nice. No Matt I can't do that to any of you and I can't do that to myself. It may have freaked my ass out today but I still live for this shit Matt. I would be lost if I had to do anything else."

"Jess you've never backed down and you've never given up. You have some serious changes coming your way. I know Cody warned everyone not to mention the hormone thing but take it into consideration."

"I know. I have to control them and this damn morning sickness." She smiled. "Have I been that difficult?"

"Not really. Just some ups and downs, nothing we can't handle. Cody and Sarah should be ready to go. How about you?"

"Yeah. I want to go home and fall into bed for about a week." She looked at him. "I know I don't have a bed. Maybe mom and dad will put me up."

"Jess we can wait till this weekend to get the cabin ready. Jen won't be here till the twenty first. You need your home. My home is your home Jess."

"I know. Being a grown up isn't looking as good as it used to be." Matt got up and reached for his sister's hand and pulled her up too.

"It's about time you figured that out."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The ride back home was quiet. Jess found if she closed her eyes the car sickness wasn't so bad. She knew the boys were worried about her. She could feel Cody staring at the back of her head and Matt steeling glances every chance he got. Jess knew she had to grow up. She had to stop depending on her brother's to protect her when things got rough.

"Jess." She opened her eyes.

"Yeah." Matt was parked in front of a diner.

"Do you feel like getting something to eat?"

"Maybe something light." Jess got out of the car. Sarah helped Cody out of the back. They walked into the diner and sat in at a table in the back. Cody looked at his sister.

"Would you stop it? I'm fine. Really Cody. You both need to stop worrying about me." The waitress put down menu's and water then left.

"Like that's ever going to happen." Cody leaned back in his chair. "Jess please don't take this the wrong way but you can't take care of yourself." She rolled her eyes and glared at him.

"How the hell am I supposed to take that? I took care of myself for a lot of years without anyone's help." Matt knew this wasn't going to end well.

"Okay will you two stop? I've really had it up to here with the two of you fighting. Now shut up and order your damn lunch." Jess, Cody and Sarah looked at him then looked at their menus and didn't say a word till they had to place their order.


	9. Chapter 9

Resolutions

Chapter Nine

"Why can't you just let up and leave Jess alone?" Matt looked at his brother sitting across from him. Friday dawned grey and cold and at seven o'clock Jess wasn't at work yet. He knew where she was. At his house not able to get out of bed in fear her insides would be ripped out again with her another bout of morning sickness.

"I don't know. It's like something inside me longs to make her miserable."

Cody looked in his coffee cup. "I don't even know what the hell I'm saying until it's out of my mouth."

"You need some help man. You piss little sister off any more; it's her bullet you're going to have to dodge. And you know little sister doesn't miss when she aims her gun." Cody narrowed his eyes and glared at Matt.

"How long have you had that ready to use?"

"A really long time." Matt laughed. "I just thing your scared."

"Leave the head shrinking to Jess and Derek. It's just been a long winter already and Jess just knows what buttons to push Matt. Hell she knows more about pushing buttons then anyone I know."

"Maybe we should all stay clear. If you're pissing her off can you imagine what Cutler would do?"

"I think I know what's gotten into her. You didn't see her face when McKnight was beating on me. It took all her strength to get back in the fight."

"She was afraid for the baby?"

"Maybe. We always say Jess has all the luck. I've been pretty lucky lately. Not a scratch on me since my last run in with McKnight. Who can say they've gone that long without even a ski injury?"

"She hasn't had to deal with your immortality."

"Exactly." Matt looked at his little brother. "With everything that's happened with her and Cutler and even you I've been the strong one. The one who didn't get hurt."

"Little sister may need to get some help of her own." Cody looked at Matt and rolled his eyes.

"She's the sanest person here. That's the scary part." Cody stood up. "I'm going to your house and pick Jess up off the bathroom floor and make her see that I'm too damn stubborn to die." He left Matt's office and grabbed his jacket. Matt watched him go and shook his head. Cody's ego was going to bite him in the ass one day. Matt hopped it was a long way from happing.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody found Jess leaning against the bath tub head back eyes closed. She opened one eye when she heard his footsteps.

"Please don't take a step closer if you have on that skunk ass aftershave you always wear." He leaned against the door frame.

"As I recall you gave me that skunk ass aftershave for Christmas last year."

"Last year I wasn't retching at every little smell. I went to brush my teeth and the smell of Crest is now on my least favorite things to smell."

"Your in luck, I left the house without smelling like skunk ass today." She smiled.

"How's the ribs?"

"It only hurts when I breathe."

"I'm sorry I froze yesterday. He shouldn't been able to…"

"Jess its okay. You did what you had to do to protect yourself and your baby. Hugh got a few lucky punches in. Is this what yesterday is about? You were feeling guilty?"

"I don't know. Cody…all my life I've been a hard ass. Nothing gets to me. Maybe that's immoral or unethical but nothing makes me feel much of anything." She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I don't know if it's what my birth parents did and I'm repressing it or what but things just don't bother me like they should. Now everything bothers me." Cody backed up and sat on the end of Jess's bed.

"You haven't always been a hard ass Jess. I think you got hard after you had to pull my ass out of Afghanistan. Until you let Morgan in. You still care about the people around you but you just didn't let anyone else in."

"I guess I just got afraid to. I hated how I felt when you were gone Cody. I felt so empty. I went in there with a chip on my shoulder the size of this mountain. If we hadn't of gotten you out of there I might not have cared if I made it out."

"I never said what we have is healthy Jess. Maybe all that time we spent growing up together made us more caring individuals but some what warped." He put his elbow on his knees and ran his hands through his hair. "You're the one with the phyc degree baby sister. You tell me."

"The McCormick's never wanted me. If it wasn't for a visit from dad and mom when Hale was three months pregnant I may have been just been an after thought." Cody looked up at her.

"What are you talking about?"

"I found Hale's diary in a box of stuff mom kept for me. She…Hale saw what a wonderful baby you were and how much mom loved you and decided she wouldn't go though with 'the procedure'. You've been saving my ass since before I was born and you didn't even know it." He shook his head.

"You're kidding right?"

"No. I was fifteen when I found the journals she kept in a box in the barn. I sat there for hours pouring over them. It wasn't till I got my degree did I truly realize how screwed up I would have been if they had lived. Not even mom and dad know." Cody stood up and went to her and slid down and sat next to her.

"Your telling me that Hale…Jess she may have not been mother of the year but…"

"You can read for yourself. There in a box in your attic."

"So that's why…"

"Pretty much. You and our parents stopped her unknowingly from aborting her pregnancy. You were so damn cute she decided she wanted one of her very own." Jess smiled. "And now you're stuck with me." Cody wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

"I'm so glad whatever I did when I was eighteen months old convinced Hale to have you."

"It was probably the dimples."

"Probably. It's going to be okay Jess. We're all going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere, Matt's not going anywhere. Mom and dad will be around till they're an hundred and ten. And Derek, well Derek will be here whether you want him here or not for a very long time to come."

"Promise." Cody knew he couldn't guarantee anything but he knew he would die trying to keep this one promise.

"Promise."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody stood in his garage and contemplated what he was going to do. Jess said he could read the diaries but he still felt like it was something he shouldn't do. His dad was walking toward the front door when he saw Cody standing alone next to the steps leading to the attic over the garage.

"What are you doing out here?" Jesse came to stand by his youngest son.

"Thinking."

"You couldn't find someplace warmer to think?"

"Dad, do think Lee and Hale were good parents?" Jesse looked at his son.

"I wouldn't say they were bad parents." Cody looked down at his boots. "Why do you want to know?"

"Jess…she doesn't remember much her time with them. She can tell you what we did the summer she was five but next fall she can't remember what school she went to. She found Hale's diary's in some boxes when she was younger. She found out that Hale was going to get an abortion but a visit from you and mom changed that." Jesse wasn't sure he was hearing his son right.

"What?"

"Hale wrote in her diary that she saw how mom was with me, and what a good baby I was and changed her mind about keeping her baby."

"Apparently it was on one of your more people friendly days." Jesse tried to lighten his son's mood. "Cody if it's true or not I don't know. Lee didn't say anything about Hale being pregnant till she was about ready to give birth. I found it strange because Lee wanted kids more then anything and they'd been trying for years."

"I think I'm going to put a call in to Shep and see if Jess can get her parents medical records. She's been healthy but with the baby coming she should know about her parent's history."

"I never thought of that. Cody is there something else you're not telling me?"

"She's just a little on edge. It might be just hormones. I just want her to be herself again Dad."

"She will son. Just give it time. It's good thinking about her parent's records. You shouldn't be out here in the cold."

"What aren't you telling me?" Cody knew when his dad was quick to dismiss something wasn't right. Jesse knew he couldn't lie to his son.

"Hale suffered from post partum depression after Jess was born. For months she was up and down. Lee didn't tell us until Jess was about three months old he came here with he and asked if we'd keep her while Hale got better. She was here for about three weeks and then Lee picked her up and there was never anything more said."

"Maybe we need to look into some things." Jesse knew that his friends weren't always the nicest people but he knew that they wouldn't do anything to hurt their child.

"Do what you need to do son." He patted him on the back. "I'm going to go say hi to my grandkids." Jesse walked to the door and went inside. Cody walked out of the garage and headed to the office.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"You're doing what?" Matt stood in front of Cody's desk.

"Looking into the McCormick's past."

"Why?"

"Just humor me."

"Does Jess know?" Cody rolled his eyes.

"What do you think?" He kept working at the computer.

"Cody you're just going to piss her off more."

"Just let it go Matt. You have nothing to do with this and I won't tell if you don't."

"You're just asking for trouble."

"Then it's my trouble." Matt wanted to ask him why after twenty years did he want to bring up Jess's parents past but he knew Cody wouldn't give him the answer's he was looking for.

"She'll be here at three. You better be long gone and covered your tracks."

"She can't even turn on my computer." Matt shook his head and headed to his own office.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jesse Hawkes wasn't a man who second guessed anything in his life. He never regretted his choices. Lee McCormick wasn't always that sure of the things in his life. After he married Hale he wasn't sure he really loved her. After a year of trying for a baby Hale had left him. A month later she was back and never mentioned having a child again. They had been married twelve miserable years when Jess was born. They fought, they made up and then they fought some more. Jess was supposed to save their marriage. Jesse wasn't sure what happened the four years and nine months from the time Lee picked Jess up that night and the first summer they dropped her off but neither looked like they were any happier then they were five years before.

"Jesse it's time to come in." Jackie came up behind him.

"I will."

"Lunch is ready."

"Okay."

"What's wrong?" Jesse turned around.

"We need to tell Jess about Hale."

"I know. Let's wait till after the wedding. I don't want that drama ruining her day."

"We should have told her."

"Jesse it was a million years ago. And just because Hale had post partum depression doesn't mean Jess will."

"I know. Cody's looking into getting the McCormick's medical records so at least Jess knows what to expect."

"Yeah and it gets him into trouble."

"Wonder where he got that from?" Jackie hugged her husband. "Let's get though the next three weeks and we can sit with Jess and tell her anything she needs to know about them."

"Jackie they were our friends for twenty years."

"They raised a scared little girl who didn't know what love was until she was five years old. Then it was only for three months out of the year." She pushed her husband away and looked into his eyes. "You can pretend all you want Jesse but you know. She may not remember and I thank God everyday for that but you know what they did to her."

"Did Hale ever tell you she wasn't going to have Jess?"

"What?"

"We visited them when Cody was about eighteen months old. Matt had a baseball tournament in Sacramento."

"Yeah. I remember. Hale seemed distant. But then she started talking and I barley fit a word in."

"She was three months pregnant. She was planning an abortion till she saw you with Cody." Jackie looked at her husband.

"How do you know this?" Jesse closed his eyes and rubbed them.

"Hale's diaries were with the stuff you saved for Jess." Jackie looked at him.

"Jess knows?"

"Since she was fifteen." Jackie frowned.

"That's why she buckled down and wanted to go to college with Cody. She didn't want the one constant in her life to leave."

"Or the person who saved her from before she was born."

"Oh Jesse, that poor girl." She hugged her husband close and saw Jess walking over from Matt's house. "She's coming. Don't say…we can't."

"I know." He turned around and pulled his wife close. "Shouldn't you be at work?" Jess smiled and her eyes were sparkling.

"Matt changed my schedule to afternoons. Me and morning aren't getting along so well. How's my favorite parents?" She hugged them both.

"Good. How are you?"

"After my stomach stopped rolling and the room stopped spinning it's all good." She looked at her mother. "I talked to Cutler and Derek and both are fine with Cutler marring us." Jesse looked at his daughter.

"You've got to be kidding." Jess smiled. She loved making the vain in her dad's neck bulge.

"He is a certified minister." Jess sat on the swing in front of her parents. "I think he did it to tick his father's spirit off. But it saves on finding one."

"I'm sure Father Jonah would have done just fine Jess."

"He still hasn't forgiven me for starting the ants on fire in Sunday school when I was seven."

"You went to confession several times for that Jess. I'm sure he forgives you." Jackie reassured her. Jess rolled her eyes. Jesse closed his. Sometimes if he didn't know better he would have thought his son and daughter were related by blood or by attitude.

"Derek is okay with it?" Jesse needed to talk to that man.

"He laughed and told me that if he reads the part about objections and raises his own hand he might have to shoot him but other then that."

"You want some lunch sweetie?"

"What are you having?"

"Stew and rolls." Jess closed her eyes and let the scent coming from the back door. Her stomach didn't turn and she finally felt like she could eat something.

"Yeah. That sounds great." She stood up. "Did you have bad morning sickness mom?"

"With Matthew not a bit but with Cody. Oh my gosh I was miserable."

"It's lasted thirty four years." Jesse followed the woman in the house. Jess got another bowl and glass and set it at the table. She went and got a spoon. Jackie put the stew pot in the middle of the table and they sat down.

"It smells great mom."

"Thanks. Other then the morning sickness how have you been?"

"Okay. Yesterday made for an interesting day but its all good."

"If you need help with anything don't be afraid to as."

"Terry the event coordinator at the lodge is going to call you early next week to finalize all the details. There's not much. The ceremony is at one and reception at three."

"Are you sure you want to do it this way Jess?" Her mother was itching for a big three tear wedding.

"We decided not to go to Vegas so you need to be happy with this okay." She looked at her mother. Jackie wouldn't care as long as she was happy.

"Whatever makes you happy dear." Jess looked at her mother.

"Do what you must mom; just don't over do it. Dad please keep her on a semi short leash." Jesse looked into his bowl.

"I'm out of this ladies. I have one job and that's to walk you down the isle. I can't mess that one up." Jess looked at the man who had been there for her since she could remember. Lee McCormick had never hugged her or told her he was proud of her. Jesse had done that and more. The Hawkes would never know what her life was like before she became theirs.

"That's all girl can ask for pops." Jess smiled. Things were going to be okay. She could feel it.


	10. Chapter 10

Resolutions

Chapter Ten

Jess sat at her desk and threw darts at the dart bard on the wall ten feet away. It was going to be a long night. Flynn, Frank and Izzy had headed out to look for some campers on the north face and didn't have a clue when they'd be back. Matt took Cutler out to dinner to get him out of the station for a while and Robin, well Robin wasn't in the mood to talk. She's come down in her work out clothes and hour ago and Jess figured she was in the gym. Sitting back she found some paper work that needed finishing so she found a pen and started in on it. The front door opened and a man came in. Jess put her pen down.

"Can I help you?" He wasn't local, Jess could tell.

"I was told I could find a Cody Hawkes here."

"He's gone for the day but if you need something maybe I can help. Jess Hawkes."

"Cody's little sister." Jess smiled.

"Yeah. And you are." He smiled.

"I'm sorry, Jared Reynolds." Jess remembered that name but she couldn't recall where. "Cody and I were in the Marines together."

"Jared, right now I remember. He just lives down the road. I can call him. He usually stops in during my shift to annoy me any how."

"Still getting along famously I see."

"That's us." She dialed Cody's number. "Hi Sarah could you tell Cody to come up here please."

"He's already on his way. He wanted to check something in the weather room."

"Thanks." Cody came in just as she was hanging up.

"Jared…man are you a sight for sore eyes." He hugged his old friend. "Have you met my sister?" He turned to Jess.

"Yeah. She's not what I expected." Jess smiled.

"I'm really not the monster he makes me out to be." Jared laughed.

"No, I thought you'd be…taller." He put his hands in his pockets. "I got your e-mails when I got back into the country." Cody led Jared back to his office.

"I was wondering where you ran off too." Cody closed the door behind him leaving Jess to do what ever she did when he wasn't there.

"In and out of third world countries mostly." Cody offered his friend a chair.

"Still need the rush?"

"And you don't?" Cody sat back in his chair.

"Yeah now and then. With the wife and kids now it just doesn't really come as often as it used to. At least not in the way we used to get the fix."

"Getting old Hawkes?"

"Just finding safer ways to fuel the need." Cody looked at his sister. "What brings you to my part of paradise?"

"I thought I could help you out."

"Surf bums don't make good ski bums." Cody laughed.

"I was on my way to Sacramento when I got your e-mail about your background checks."

"Dude that was like six hours ago."

"Did you forget who I work for?" Cody glared at him.

"I try to." Jared smiled and put a three inch thick file on the desk.

"McCormick worked for them too." Cody looked at the file.

"Son of a bitch."

"Yeah he was. The meanest son of a bitch they had."

"My dad was his best friend since boot camp."

"Apparently he was good at keeping things quiet." Cody opened the file.

"This is some heavy duty back ground."

"You don't know the half of it. That's only the parts I could print out." Cody looked up at his friend. "He was one bad ass agent."

"And a jack ass father." Cody scanned the papers. "Looks like I opened a huge can of worms."

"I covered up what I could and masked what I couldn't."

"What's the protocol on something like this?"

"Burn after reading." Cody looked at his friend. "If it wasn't for you and your sister's clearance I wouldn't have been able to land within a hundred miles of you." The phone rang. Cody picked it up.

"Yeah Jess."

"You're a hot commodity tonight. Shep on line three."

"Thanks." Cody pushed a button. "Shep, thanks for getting back to me so soon."

"Anything for Jess."

"You didn't tell her did you?"

"No. I got Hale's records but I'm running into a few road blocks with Lee's."

"That's fine I know where I can get them. I'll stop by tomorrow and pick up the file."

"Sure."

"Thanks again Shep, I owe you."

"You can pay me back by keeping the Hawkes out of this place till Jess gives birth. By the way I signed on for another six months."

"Good for you and good for us. It's always good to have a friend who can prescribe things. Talk to you later." Cody hung up. "Shep got Hale's medical records."

"Is this really all you wanted this background check for Cody? For Jess's kid's sake?" Cody looked at his sister sitting at the front desk.

"It started out that way. Things are messed up. She can remember the summer she was six when Matt scooped her up before she hit her head on a sharp rock when we were playing by the river. She remembers the summer she was seven she went to Sunday school and started ants on fire and the priest busted her. But you ask her anything about the fall and winter of those same years she can't tell you."

"Maybe it wasn't as exciting as summering with the Hawkes."

"I wish that was all it was. I never really thought about it before but she never looked happy in June when her parents brought her. She looked tired and frail."

"Do you think that this is something your sister wants dug up? You know what it's like to have something you don't want to remember." Cody did know. He had gone through a whole lot he never wanted to think about ever again.

"I'll get his medical records from this and burn the rest." Cody shoved the file in the bottom drawer of his desk and locked it. "You have to head home right away?"

"I could use a beer."

"Well then let's go to my house and get you one." Cody stood up. "Sarah's making meatloaf for dinner. You're staying right?"

"Who am I to turn down a home cooked meal?" The two men went out of the office. Jess was still at the front desk.

"I'm taking Jared to meet Sarah and the kids."

"Okay. It was nice meeting your Jared." Jess smiled.

"Feeling mutual Jess." The men left and Robin came from the back.

"Who was that?"

"Friend of Cody's. How was your work out?"

"Long and boring. I'm going to hit the shower. If you need me just yell." Robin went upstairs and Jess was alone once again. The phone rang.

"Ranger station, Jess Hawkes how may I help you."

"I can tell you but your at work and I might make you blush." Jess smiled. The sound of Derek's voice made all the sad t things she was thinking go away.

"How's things in the big city?"

"Missing you. More then I thought I could." Jess could tell something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?"

"Just been a long week. I'm ready for a break from all this."

"I know that feeling. Well whenever you're ready I'm here waiting."

"That's the only thing getting me though the next week."

"It's going to be a long week."

"Not as long as this week was. Between my case and your trouble with McKnight."

"Yeah. It's not been the best week on record. Maybe if I go to bed and wake up next week things will be better." Derek laughed.

"I'm wrapping things up here as soon as I can. I talked to my sister. They're getting excited about meeting you."

"I may suck at this you know. I've never met parents before. The boys I dated in college never brought me home and well Cutler never talked to his again after he left. I'm not sure I know what to say."

"I love your son is about all it's going to take."

"She'll believe that?" Jess laughed.

"Well try to say it like you mean it."

"Is there any other way?"

"Jess…"

"Yeah I know. Get some seep. I love you Derek."

"I love you too." Jess hung up the phone and tried not to cry.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt sat at the bar with Cutler. He was getting way to old to be anyone's wing man let alone Jim Cutlers.

"You know you can take off. I can find my way back home."

"You're still recovering my friend. Its bad enough were here. Shep will have my ass if he knew I left you here to fend for yourself."

"Robin gets of at midnight. I promise to have you home by then." Matt looked at his beer.

"You said you weren't going to bring that up again."

"You need to loosen up. Everyone would be glad the two of you got your grove on. It's about time." Cutler ordered another drink. "We should all be so lucky someone like Robin falls into our laps." Matt looked at his friend.

"Yeah. Finish your beer; I want to get home before I have to go to work in the morning." Cutler shook his head.

"You used to be fun Hawkes."

"I know. Getting old sucks." Matt threw down some money and stood up. "Sorry, maybe another night." Cutler stood up.

"You gotta stop worrying about her."

"You haven't so why should I." They walked to the truck.

"Can't ague with that."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt and Cutler walked into the station a little after midnight. Flynn was behind the desk.

"Jess upstairs?" Matt grabbed his messages off the desk.

"No, check the couch. I got here and she looked a little green. I don't think she made it all the way upstairs." Matt walked to the couch and found Jess curled up at the end eyes closed. Matt bent down and felt her head.

"I'm fine Matthew." She whispered.

"Just checking. Did you eat something?"

"I had some soup. I was waiting for you and I couldn't keep my eyes open."

"No more long shifts for you."

"You can't be babying me Matt." He looked at Cutler.

"Making sure your eating isn't babying you." He sat on the couch next to her. "You'll tell me if things get to much for your, right?"

"I promise. I've never been so tired in all my life. I never needed more then a couple of hours now I think I may need twelve to function."

"Just wait till the baby comes and you're getting no sleep." He leaned back. Cutler came and sat on the chair.

"Are we spending the night down here?"

"We could. I don't think I could move." Jess stretched and put her legs over Matt's lap. "You don't have to stay here Matt. I can take care of Cutler if you want to go…some place else." Matt looked at Jess.

"The two of you have to stop butting into my love live. I'm staying here tonight weather you two like it or not." Jess looked at Cutler.

"You didn't get him nearly enough beer."

"Who was supposed to drive home? I'm not supposed to be out of bed."

"When has that ever stopped the two of you?" Jess looked at Matt. "Really so why don't you head out."

"Jess back off. I promise we'll figure this all out, but not tonight." He pushed her legs off his lap and stood up. "I'm going to bed." He turned. "Don't stay up to late and don't give Benji a hard time."

"Yes sir." Jess grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped herself up. "So how was dinner?" She looked at Cutler.

"Not as good as your mom's cooking but it was good." He put his feet up on the coffee table. "How was your day?"

"Long. I had a nice lunch with mom and dad. I told them about you marring me and Derek." Cutler laughed.

"Did that vain in Jesse's head start to throb?"

"A little. He loves you like a son Jim. You know that don't you."

"Yeah. Your whole family has been really good to me since I got here." He looked at Jess. "My father was nothing like Jesse. You'd think a man of the cloth would have been different."

"I know how you feel. My old man wasn't half the man Jesse is."

"You don't talk much about the McCormick's."

"I never really knew them. I barley saw them when I was home. I was here in the summer and in boarding school in the fall. I asked them once if they could just leave me here so I could go to school with Cody. They told me I needed to be raised by proper well bread individuals, not heathens."

"The Hawkes were your parent's friends why would they talk like that about them?"

"It was my mother mostly. It's weird, up until a few weeks about I didn't remember much about them. It all seems to be coming back a little at a time." Jess curled up under the covers. "They treated me like I was nothing when I was there. They never talked to me at the dinner table or tucked me in at night. I spent three months here and nine months in school. They had to deal with for a handful of days a year."

"I guess we had some pretty messed up childhoods."

"Until we found the Hawkes."

"Yeah. Until they made everything alright."


	11. Chapter 11

Resolutions

Chapter Eleven

The weekend went by faster then anyone would have imagined. With lost skiers and ice fishermen treading on thin ice no one had any time to worry about anything other then the job at hand. Monday started off as all Jess's mornings did, in the bathroom puking her guts out. Matt made coffee and was in the kitchen when Jess finally made it downstairs.

"Morning sunshine."

"Bite me Matt." Jess smiled and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"How was your weekend? I barley saw you unless you were handing me another skier to locate."

"Lot's of answering phones. I haven't seen Cody. Did he ever make it back from Lake Jen?"

"As far as I know. You lost Cody?" Jess smiled.

"You're the boss around here. I may have sent him out but you have to check him back in." Cody came though the door. "Oh look, the prodigal son returns." Cody looked at his sister.

"Good morning to you too." He got a cup and grabbed some coffee.

"Forget to tell big brother you got home last night?" He looked at Matt.

"I left a message with…Cooper. Matt you got to get that boy some office skills if you're going to leave him alone at night. I got in about one. Royce and a few of the guys from his construction company he works for took a look at Aaron's place."

"How much is it going to take to fix?" Matt asked

"About seven grand. The walls and stuff need to be bleached to stop the mold from forming." Jess looked at Cody.

"Will they start the work when the first thaw hits?"

"Even before that if Jen wants them to." Jess made herself a piece of toast. "Feeling better little sister?"

"Yeah. This morning wasn't too bad. I only puked for an hour instead of two." Sitting down next to Cody she handed him a plate of sweet rolls. "Mom sent them up this morning. I managed to rescue a couple for you."

"Should I ask you what you want before I eat one of these and commit myself to something I may not want to do?" Jess smiled.

"I don't want anything from you. Try to do something nice for some people." Jess stood up and headed upstairs. "See you guys later." Matt looked at his brother.

"You still haven't learned have you Cody?"

"Apparently not." He took a sweet roll and stood up. "I'm in my hole if you need me." He headed to the weather room. Robin walked in.

"Hey."

"Hi. You left early this morning." She poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I had to clean the barn. It's my day."

"You could have woken me up. I would have helped." Matt smiled but didn't look up from his paper.

"Like the barn would have ever gotten cleaned."

"It might have." She sat across from him. "How's Jess?"

"Better I think. She was downstairs before lunch."

"That's something. Anything going this morning?"

"Not yet but the days still young." Matt looked up. "Why don't you come to my place tonight and I'll cook you dinner." Robin smiled.

"I'd like that."

"Good." He stood up and went around the table. He kissed Robin. "Seven."

"Okay." Matt went to his office and shut the door.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess went to the barn and was brushing her stallion when Cody came in.

"He misses you." Jess looked up.

"I know I should take him out but my shoulder's still a little stiff."

"Yeah, he'll want to run like the wind the minute you saddle him." Cody went to Libby and her foal. "You think Ava will be able to ride him when he's old enough?"

"If he's anything like his father maybe not." Jess handed Cody a carrot from her pocket. "Cody…" Jess looked at her brother. "I'm sorry I've been on edge lately. I keep remembering things."

"Remembering things? What things?"

"About Lee and Hale." He looked at Jess.

"You don't have to tell me Jess, but I would really like to know."

"They never hit me. They pretty much ignored me. The summer was the only time I knew any kind of love." She turned and started brushing her horse again. "They just didn't love me."

"You know that wasn't true Jess."

"I know she didn't want me. If it wasn't for you she would have gotten rid of me. This family showed me how to love. Lee and Hale gave me nothing."

"They gave you life. They gave you to us." Cody walked behind his sister. He put his hands on her shoulders and whispered in her ear. "If it wasn't for that things around here would not be the same little sister. Just remember that." He kissed her on the cheek and walked out of the barn and hopped he could make her see that no matter how bad those first few years were, it was the years she spent with them that made her who she was today.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess put a pan in the over. It was nearly six and all but Matt and Robin were in the building. Cooking for ten wasn't a fun thing for her but it kept her busy. Starting the beginning of the year they would be starting twenty four on and twenty four off shifts to see how it worked out. Maybe she should take her mother up on those cooking lessons. Cutler came in the kitchen.

"Practicing for married life I see." He grabbed a soda.

"Yeah taking care of you ingrates I should be training for the circus." She turned and put the potato's to boil.

"If you need to talk more about…you know what we talked about the other night. I'm here Jess." She looked at him.

"Thanks. I think I'm working it all out." Jess sat across from him. "You know I never realized how much I repressed about that life till now."

"You didn't want it to interfere with what you remember. I did that a lot as a kid. I remembered the few great times so the bad times wouldn't seem so bad. If there's anything you need to talk about Jess you know you can talk to me." She smiled.

"I know. You know better then anybody you can't out run your child hood." Jess looked at one of the people who had made her childhood here worth remembering. "Thanks for being there when I needed you."

"You've always been there for me Jess." He stood up. "I'm going to take a walk. You know where to find me if you need anything." He got up and grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody stood by the front window holding Colton. The snow started again and it was going to be a long couple of days. Ava sat at her table in the corner and colored. Cody watched her as she painstakingly colored all the flowers on the page. She looked so much like Sarah. The boys kind of looked like baby pictures of Matt. Putting his son in his playpen with his brother Cody grabbed his jacket, told Sarah he'd be back and went to the garage. Going up in the attic he found the boxes Jess had said contained Hale's journals. There were three boxes marked with 'Save for Jess'.

"Hey!" Cody jumped and turned around.

"Matt. Damn you."

"Sarah said you were out here. What there aren't enough Christmas decorations around this place?"

"Don't worry I won't make you place look any more like Scrooge lives there. I was looking to see if there was any baby pictures of Jess in her boxes that mom kept for her."

"I know she has some of the three of us in her room. From like when she was five or six and with the five of us."

"What parent doesn't take a picture of their kid? Mom must have a million of us. And I know we have tons of Jess from those summers."

"Mom always made sure she went home with some every year."

"Yeah," Cody looked at his brother. "I remember she clung to those things like they were a life line." Matt looked down.

"Maybe they were." He took the last three steps up into the attic and grabbed the closest box and opened the lid. There was a doll and some papers. Matt shuffled though them looking for the photos his brother seemed almost desperate to find. "Just papers and Hale's journals."

"Some cards and letters, no pictures." The last box was sealed. Taped shut tighter then any box he's ever seen. He took his knife off his belt and started to cut the tape.

"It's sealed for a reason Toad." He turned to look at his brother.

"I already know all her secrets."

"You think you know all her secrets." Cody cut open the top of the box.

"Whatever it is it stays in my attic." Opening the lid he pushed aside the paper. There were pictures. Lots of them. Vacations, Christmas, parties and weddings. Cody turned them over and in small petite handwriting were dates. Eighteen years of Hale and Lee McCormick. Cody looked deeper into the box. "There isn't one of her. Most of these were taken after she was born." Matt came next to him. He pulled out more and more pictures. Most dated after nineteen seventy five.

"There's not even one when she was pregnant." Matt knew that his father's favorite picture of their mother was one taken when she was pregnant with Cody. It sat on his desk for most of his career. Cody also had one of Sarah on the couch at his parents with Ava's head on her rounded belly.

"I hoped she would remember them for her baby's sake but the more I know about them the less I want that for her."

"Not even dad knows what kind of people they were." Matt found pictures of his parents with Lee and Hale. Under them was a journal. He read the front. Nineteen seventy six, the year Jess was born.

"You just going to sit there or are you going to read it." Cody looked at his brother. Matt paged thought it and stopped on the date he was looking for. August nineteenth, nineteen seventy six. He skimmed down the page. Shaking his head he looked at his brother. "Put it back, seal it and bury it under every box you can find." Cody took the book from him and turned to the page.

'She was born today. Lee wanted a boy so bad when he saw her he walked out. I don't know what to do now. I can't give her away, people would talk. What do I do with a child? I was never meant to be a mother. She's cries and fusses and she's only hours old. How can I deal with this when I need to take care of Lee and the firm? She'll only hold us back. I never should have had her. I should have taken care of her like I did the others. Now the expense of a nanny will make Lee angrier.' My God Matt these aren't the people I remember coming up here in the summer."

"I know. I don't what to tell you. I remember what you do. Kissing Jess good-bye. Telling her they would miss her." Matt sat back and leaned against the boxes. "I wonder if she ever read that one?"

"I don't think so. I think she would have told me if she had. "

"It took her eighteen years to tell you about the other stuff she read."

"This would have come out then too. I don't think she saw this one. It wasn't with the others."

"Let's keep it that way. Cody I know this would kill Jess even if she's over her parents crap. Hide it, burn it, do what you have to but she can't ever read that. God knows what's in the others." Cody nodded and grabbed the duct tape off the rafter and sealed as tightly as he had found it.

"Do you think dad and mom know?"

"If they do they're keeping it to themselves." Matt looked at the far wall. "Sometimes you wonder why kids like Jess get parents like Hale and Lee. They'd don't deserve to be born into that."

"Jess was feeling down about that today. She was angry because they didn't have to have her."

"What did you tell her?"

"That if they hadn't, we wouldn't have gotten her." Matt looked at his little brother.

"Our lives would have been a lot different if Jess hadn't come to live." Cody smiled.

"You would never have had a broken jaw."

"Cody, I will deny ever saying this but I wouldn't trade that broken jaw for anything if it meant not having Jess. I wouldn't trade anything for our time with her." Cody looked at Matt.

"Me either." He looked at the box. "This never leaves this attic."

"Never." They both got up and Cody piled boxes on top of the evil they had found and they headed downstairs. Jess would never know anymore about her parents other then any past medical worries, Cody, Matt and Jesse Hawkes would see to it.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The week was busy and the box up in Cody's garage was all but forgotten. Winter break was starting and skiers from all over the world were heading to the Sierra Nevada Mountains for a white Christmas. Jen and her family would be arriving on Monday and Derek on Tuesday. The weekend looked busy for the lodge so Jess knew it would be a busy weekend for the Rangers. On Friday she was decorating the tree in the station when a call came in.

"Ranger station, how can I help you?"

"Jess its Sheriff Mac."

"Hi Sheriff, what can I do for you this blissfully cold day."

"I have a group of ice fishermen who went into Desolation three days ago. They're only six hours over due but I got Cody's weather report and if it's right, and I know your brother is always right, if they don't get out soon they won't get out alive." Jess grabbed the weather reports Cody put on her desk less then a half hour ago.

"Okay I'll get the boys on it. Just give me a point they headed to and we'll take it from there."

"Thanks Jess. It sure is a nice day to go flying." Jess laughed.

"Yes it is." Jess hung up and hit three pager buttons. Matt came in. "Mac's got a group of fishermen late in get back from Desolation. He's worried they won't get out before the storm." Cody and Izzy came up behind him.

"Have Cutler man the radio. Jess you get the chopper ready and Cody gas up the snowmobiles. Izzy grab the packs. I don't want to be stuck out there unprepared." They all moved quickly and with an efficiency of years of working together. The Rangers were in for a long week end. Jess grabbed her jacket and headed to the helicopter pad and thanked God she got all the wedding plans she could done.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was noon and the clouds were thick and fluffy. Jess flew at tree level checking ever little lake, stream and pond in the large wilderness area.

"Lady Hawk to Flying Tiger."

"Go Lady Hawk."

"They headed south from Loon Lake toward Chipmunk Bluff."

"Why would they head that way. Ice House Road's been closed since the last snow storm."

"Who knows what a bunch of fishermen are thinking? I'm going to heading toward Angel Creek."

"Okay. Take it slow. I don't want to miss anything. We're headed toward Ice House Road. We'll follow that and see if we can pick up any tracks."

"I'll tell you what I find when I get to Angel Creek."

"Okay. Keep in radio contact. I want to get us out of here before dark." Jess knew Matt hated Desolation in the day time but he truly despised it in the dark. Desolation was no place for armatures. Jess flew low and kept to the roads and trails. The snow was white and beautiful. Until it turned red.

"Flying Tiger we got a man down a half mile south of Angel Creek. I'm looking for a place to land."

"On our way Lady Hawk." Jess made three passes before she found a rock formation flat enough to land on. She could see the man laying a hundred yards away.

"Take it slow Matt. We don't know what you're walking into."

"You see anything when you were up?"

"Just the body."

"Okay, just keep your eyes open."

"Watch your six big brother. I don't like the feeling I'm getting."

"Damn it Jess Cody just said the same thing. I didn't plan for this to be anything more then a walk in the woods."

"I did. I packed vests in the rack."

"Have I told you that you're the best lately?" Jess smiled.

"It's always nice to here."

"I'm assuming since you packed ours, you're wearing yours?"

"My Kevlar is like my American Express, I don't leave home without it."

"Paranoia suites you Jess."

"Runs in the family. Tell Ace to strap his tight, it'll help his ribs." Jess kept scanning the horizon and beyond. She saw Matt and the others coming from the south. Sliding out of the driver's seat she slid her twenty two in her boot and grabbed the rifle from behind the seat. "Lady Hawk to base."

"Flash here Lady Hawk."

"Have the sheriff fax you the names of those fisher men. Run them all."

"You got it."

"Call Frank and have him stand by."

"He's already here."

"Okay stand by base." Jess took one step at a time off the rock. She hadn't seen the man move since she landed. Matt and Cody were pulling up next to him as Jess watched the tree line. "Get up and out boys I don't like sitting in the open like this." Cody checked his pulse.

"Nothing." He turned the man over and his left side of his face was gone. "Damn."

"Somebody wanted this guy gone." Izzy brought the gurney and Matt and Cody scooped the man up and put him in it. "What if we have five more bodies out here?" Jess looked around.

"Worse yet what if we only find four more bodies."

"You'd rather a random sniper?" Cody looked around. "There's no tracks other then his for yards. He was running." Jess looked at the man.

"He turned and they shot him." She looked at the three men. "Let's get this guy loaded and get out of here. I can look for their tracks when I'm up in the air."

"Jess we can do this easier on the ground." She looked at Matt.

"Just be careful." She went back to the helicopter. "I'll scan the area the best I can and meet you at Wentworth Spring Road where it runs into Forestry Road Three. I'll have the Sheriff meet us there."

"Okay." Matt looked at his sister and brother. They had the look that he never wanted to see on both those faces at the same time. "Watch your backs and spread out. I want to get the hell out of here before dark." They loaded up the body and went back to the snowmobiles. Jess got in and started the helicopter. She watched the horizon. Something wasn't right. Jess hated when she couldn't shake a feeling.

"Lady Hawk to base."

"Go ahead Lady Hawk."

"Anything on those men?"

"All upstanding law abiding boring men of the community."

"Tell the sheriff to meet us at Wentworth Spring Road where it meets FR Three."

"You got it."

"Tell them to bring the coroner with them."

"You found one of them dead?"

"Could be." She took off and started looking for the tracks of the fishermen. "When you call the sheriff tell him to see if any of the men were carrying guns."

"You got it." Jess followed the trail the best she could and as low as she could.

"Flying Tiger I have…five men a half mile south of your position. They look cold and wet but take it easy. We don't know if they are armed." Jess swung out and the men were huddled together. They looked frightened even when she got on the loud speaker and identified herself. Matt, Cody, and Izzy pulled up.

"Take the body to the sheriff and head back here Jess. We need to get these guys out of here before they freeze." She heard Matt say.

"I'll be back in ten minutes. Keep an eye out boys. We're still not out of the woods yet." She turned and headed toward the rendezvous point and prayed when she came back everything was as quiet as when she left.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The five men were huddled together as Matt got off his snowmobile. He motioned to Izzy and Cody to stay behind him.

"We're here to help." One man looked up.

"Is Charlie okay? We didn't mean to leave him but he got turned around and we lost him."

"What happened?"

"We were going back to our truck and it was gone. Charlie started walking us out but the road was closed and we got turned around and a shot rang out and we all scattered."

"Okay. You're safe now. Our helicopter is bringing your friend to the sheriff and she'll be back."

"Is Charlie okay?

"No. We need to get you out of here and find out what happened."

"We never saw him." Cody was slowly retracing their tracks. He walked slowly back toward Matt.

"It's a clear path I only see five sets of tracks." Matt turned and whispered to his brother.

"You and Jess get these guys out of here and we'll worry about the shooter when those guys are safely with the sheriff. I don't want any of us alone with these guys."

"Okay." Cody heard the helicopter. "I'll asses them and see who needs to get warmer faster." Matt grabbed his arm.

"Pat them down if you can. Discreetly."

"You got it." Matt watched as Jess desended to the snow covered road a quarter of a mile south. He turned on his radio and walked toward her.

"Jess, I'm sending Cody and the first three fishermen to you. Keep them in your sights I don't trust them."

"You and me both. When the sheriffs boys were unloading our dead friend they found a twenty two pistol tucked in his jacket. They never registered it with the sheriff when they got their permits."

"I want them to the sheriff and out of our hands as soon as you possibly can."

"You know me Matt. The sooner I can get my…rear out of the line of fire the better I like it." Matt went back to Cody. "Take the three worse off and head to Jess." Cody looked at his brother and barley moved his head. Both brothers had their guns drawn on the five men before they could even blink. Izzy wasn't far behind.

"Okay boys, hands up and this is the way we're going to work things. My friend Izzy here is going to pat you all down and put all your toys in one pile. If one of you even flinches the blond in the helicopter will shoot your head off your shoulders." They turned to see Jess rifle raised.


	12. Chapter 12

Resolutions

Chapter Twelve

Izzy patted down the first fisherman. Checking jacket pockets, snow pants pockets, and boots before handcuffing the man. He pulled a small revolver out of the man's inside pocket.

"You think we'd come in these woods unarmed?" One of the men said.

"No one said you had to. But you have to register each and every gun before doing so." Matt handed Izzy another set of cuffs when he found a berretta in a shoulder holster and a large hunting knife. "Okay boys that's two for two. And by the sound of things we're going to find at least three more guns if not more. If one of you shot your friend and dumped the rifle I'm telling right now it will be found." Matt shifted his weight form one leg to the other. "See my brother here will follow your tracks back to where ever it is you dumped it and all five of you are headed for some heavy duty time."

"We didn't kill Charlie."

"Maybe you did or maybe you didn't but right now it doesn't look real good for any of you. My brother can find a piece of chewed up gum in this forest if he had to. Now make it easier on all of us." The third man had a colt tucked in the back of his pants. Cody threw his cuffs to Izzy. Matt shook his head. "Boys I'm not in the mood to play games. And that woman standing at the chopper has an itchy trigger finger."

"She wouldn't shoot us."

"Let's not find out now." The forth man hand a knife and a small pistol in his boot. Matt took another set of cuffs off his belt. "Not looking good at all boys." He his radio. "Jess, call Frank in, I want these guys out of our hands before nightfall."

"He's already on his way." Matt turned off his radio.

"So boys what's it going to be. Is my brother going to have to go find your toy you lost along the way or will you just tell us where your stashed it?" None of the men said a word. Cody handed his second set of handcuffs to Izzy after the man took a forty five out of the fisherman's shoulder holster. Frank landed his helicopter behind Jess. "Cody you take two and head out with Jess. Izzy and I will take the other three and meet you at where the sheriff's set up. The man Izzy had patted down last started to pull away. A shot rang out. They could almost see the bulled graze the older man's head. Cody looked at Jess.

"Mister you try that again and she'll make the next one go in one ear and out the other." Cody pushed the man toward the helicopter. Izzy gathered the guns and put them in a duffle they had on the rack attached to his snowmobile. They lead the men into the helicopters. Jess took off with Cody and two fisherman then Frank, Matt, Izzy and the other three followed. "You okay Jess?"

"Never better." She flew toward the fire road where the sheriff, State troopers and CHP were waiting. Cody watched the men in the back. "We're not going to make it back."

"We'll leave the sleds at the pass and come back tomorrow for them. I can back track from there if I have to. Unless these two want to tell me so I don't have to tramp though the woods all day tomorrow." Cody glared at the two men. Both looked away. "Guess not. I really wanted to sleep in tomorrow." Jess looked at him.

"I'll find the gun you have my morning sickness."

"If I could for one day Jess I would." She smiled and put his sunglasses on. "Maybe next time." Jess laughed.

"If next time is anything like this time it's the last time." She flew over the landing sight once to clear the pad and she swung around and landed effortlessly and started shutting down the chopper. "Last chance boys?" Jess looked at the men. "If you save Cody a walk in the woods he'd talk nice to the DA for you." Neither man said a word as the sheriff's deputies pulled them out of the chopper. "To bad. I would have liked to sleep in tomorrow too." She got out and followed Cody to Sheriff Mac standing by his cruiser.

"I'd like to thank you folks for cleaning this up for us." Cody looked at the two men being put in the back of the squad car.

"It's not quite cleaned up Mac. We still don't know how the one man died. I'll see what I can do before night fall but I'll head back in the morning and see if I can get a clear picture of what went on up here today."

"Thanks Cody. I knew I could count on you and the Rangers to see this to the end." Frank landed with the rest of the fishermen, Matt and Izzy. "Tell your brother I owe you guys one."

"I know how you can make it up to us. I'll call you on Monday and tell you how." Cody patted the older man on the back. "Take care Mac. We'll call when we find anything." Jess and Cody turned back toward the helicopter where Matt and Izzy were waiting.

"Frank's headed back to base. Let's get the sleds and see what we can turn up before sunset." The four Rangers got into the helicopter and headed back into the wilderness.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess pulled on her second jacket and slid back into her boots. They had stayed out and comb the area from where they had found the five fishermen to where they found the body. Jess looked for the fishermen's SUV along the winding roads and found no sign of it or the camp site that they had stayed in for three days. There were a few holes in the ice of the lake but that was it.

"How was it this morning?" Cody stood at the door of the bunk room.

"Not entirely mind numbing like most mornings. How are Sarah and the kids?"

"Missing you. I called Mac this morning and told him we found a whole lot of nothing yesterday. I also asked him to cover for us next Friday. So we could all enjoy your wedding." Jess smiled.

"That was nice of you but you know something's going to come up that only the Rangers can handle."

"Oh I'm sure. Matt will put three or four of us on call."

"Should I be getting scared or something?"

"How should I know?"

"You're the only married person in the room."

"I never had second thoughts about Sarah."

"Really?"

"Not a single one. I knew from the moment I opened my eyes and saw her at my bed side holding Ava and singing the silly nursery rhythm that I would always have those two girls in my life." Jess's eyes welled up with tears. "Hey, your still one of my best girls." He knelt down and pushed her chin up.

"I know. Everything makes me cry lately. I was watching an ice cream commercial last night and I broke down. Cutler didn't know what to do with me."

"We all are thankful for that." Cody smiled. "You better eat something before we go up. I would hate for you to starve to death on us." Jess laughed.

"Give me a minute. If Robin's cooking bacon can you please bring some toast out to the front desk?"

"You got it." Cody stood up. "If you love him Jess, there's nothing that will go wrong." She smiled.

"I know." Cody went downstairs as Jess put up her hair and headed downstairs. As she hit the bottom a dark haired woman came in the front door. "Hi, can I help you?" The woman was pale and looked vaguely familiar.

"I'm looking for someone in charge." Jess looked at the clock.

"He's not in for another half hour. I can get his second in command if you like." Cutler came from the kitchen with a plate.

"Jess here's your toast. I thought…Molly." Jess looked at Cutler and then at the woman.

"Jimmy." Jess took the plate from Cutler before he dropped it.

"And I'm Jess. Cutler…" He looked at the woman for a second longer then he turned to Jess.

"Sorry, ah Molly this is my friend Jess, Jess this is my…sister Molly."

"I thought you were dead Jimmy. They called…"

"Two weeks ago and said he had an accident." Cutler took a step to be between Jess and his sister.

"Jess…"

"Two weeks Cutler. Two weeks and she couldn't call." Cody came in the room when he heard his sister's voice from the kitchen.

"Cody please get her out of here." Cutler knew how Jess felt about his family. She hated them almost as much as he did.

"Jess, come on." Cody took her shoulder but she stood firm. "This isn't your fight Jess." She looked at Cutler. He nodded his head. Jess knew he was hurting and she wanted to help. She also knew he had to handle this his way. She pulled out of Cody's grasp.

"You know where to find me when you want me to throw her ass to the curb." She grabbed her plate and headed to the safety of Matt's office. Cody followed.

"She seems a little tense." Molly was a year older then he and she had always been dad's favorite.

"Loyal is what she is. You should take some lessons."

"Still the smart ass I see."

"It keeps me from being a cynic. What are you doing here Molly?"

"You were hurt. I didn't get a call after the first one and I was worried."

"Haven't changed my phone number in twenty years. You could have called."

"I wanted to see for myself that you were okay."

"Why start caring now." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Those two people in there cared more about me in the last twenty years then you and mom and dad did in forty two."

"He wasn't the monster you think you remember Jimmy." Cutler took a step forward and uncrossed his arms.

"Don't call me that. You don't have the right. Next time I get hurt you don't have to worry about getting a call from anyone here. I'll make sure of that." He looked into his sisters blue eyes that were a reflection of his. "He wasn't a monster to you." Cutler pulled his black t-shirt out of his jeans and showed her the scar that ran down his ribs on the right side. "This is what your loving father did to me." He let his shirt down. "You don't ever have to come back here Molly. Ever."

"Mom is dying Jimm…Jim."

"I'm sorry."

"She loves you."

"If she loved me so much she should of stopped him. Now get out." Molly looked at her brother.

"These people aren't your family Jim."

"They have been there for ever moment of my life for as long as I want to remember. They've seen me at my best and at my worst and they have never once judged me or told me I was going to burn in hell because of what I believe in. Can you say that?" She looked at the floor. "If I die I'm being cremated and Matt Hawkes can do whatever he wants with the ashes but give them to you. Get out Molly before I say the word and let Jess kick your ass like she's wanted to for the past two weeks." She looked him in the eye one more time.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said before she turned and headed out the door. Cutler sat down on the couch and let out a deep breath. Jess was next to him and without saying a word she pulled him close.

"You did it. You stood up to her."

"I could have said so much more."

"You said just enough." She held him close. "I'm proud of you Jimmy." He laughed. Matt walked in the door.

"Sorry I'm late…what did I miss?" Jess shook her head and Cody raised his hands.

"Just the normal High Mountain drama." Cody went into the kitchen. Cutler stood up.

"Hey buddy you just missed my sister." Matt looked at Jess.

"Jess has no visible scaring so that's a good thing."

"You know she would have kicked her ass if I gave the word."

"Thank you for not giving her that. I'm still doing paper work from the last time you two got into a…thing." Jess laughed.

"I'm going to finish my toast before we leave." She went back into Matt's office.

"You want to talk about it slick?"

"Nothing to talk about. I told her to screw off." He looked at his boots. "If I haven't told you lately, thanks for everything. The job, the friendship, your sister." Matt laughed.

"Over thanking my friend." Matt looked at the man who had been with him thought most of his career. "If you need to talk…"

"Yeah, I know where to find you." He headed toward the kitchen. Matt wished he would have been five minutes earlier. But then he might have kicked Molly Cutler's ass. Grabbing the mail he headed to his office and to make sure his sister was okay to fly.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess sat on the couch in Matt's office eating her toast and a yogurt that Cody had thrown to her. She watched Matt as he sat behind his desk. For being seven thirty in the morning he was moving mighty slow.

"Long night?"

"Kind of." He sat behind his desk. "When we get back today can you get started on the paper work for the overtime?"

"Sure. Big plans?"

"No just a meeting with the sheriffs. I want to get them in sync with our new schedules and make sure they know that I don't have to be here for things to run smoothly. Cody, Cutler, Hart, Robin and you can run a rescue just as well as I can." She smiled.

"But we don't look as good in the uniform." Matt laughed.

"I got a letter from the kennels. Our dogs can be ready by April." He looked at her. "I can take one and take the other in the fall if you're not up to it right now."

"Now, I'm up to it. Will I be in three or four months? I don't know." She looked into the bottom of her yogurt cup. "Get one and I'll do what I can to help Cutler."

"Now's the big question, which do you want?"

"We need a rescue dog her more then the drug dog. But if his is cuter then mine I might change my mind." Matt laughed.

"From what you did for him today Jess I think that man would give you his kidney if you asked for it." Jess smiled.

"I do have that affect on men." She looked at her brother. "How are things with Robin?"

"Good. It's been a week and a half and no blow ups. It's got to be a record."

"Good." Jess got up. "I'm going to do my preflight. I should be ready to go in fifteen."

"Good. I'll round up Cody and Flynn and we'll head out." Jess left and Matt watched her go. The last few days had been good. He knew it was because Morgan would be here in three days. He also knew his sister was feeling better in the morning and that helped her disposition. Cody came in and handed him some coffee and a file.

"Weather sucks as usual. We won't be out there long today."

"You're always such a ray of sunshine."

"You try sleeping when your wife's pushing a screaming baby and a bottle at you at three a.m. and then come to work and pull your sister out of a potential cat fight only to find out the job you need to do is going to be weigh laid by another freaken snow storm." Cody sat down across from Matt. "So how was your night?"

"Not as eventful as yours but it was okay. Mom and dad asked me how Jess was doing. Seems she's avoiding them."

"Tomorrow's Sunday. She can run from a family dinner. Especially when she's not working."

"Yeah. I know she wants to run Beckum tomorrow. Knowing little sister she'll fain getting lost to avoid whatever it is she's avoiding."

"Not if you go with her." Matt looked at his brother.

"Maybe I have plans." Cody raised his eyebrows.

"Oh really. On a Sunday?"

"Yes, on a Sunday. Jess said she was going to leave after church. Maybe I can get Flynn to go with her."

"Little sister will not think kindly of a baby sitter."

"No one should be out there alone."

"Look whose paranoid now." Cody got up. "I'll just tell her I need her to baby sit after church till dinner. She can't soy no to the kids." Matt grabbed his jacket. "Why do you think she's avoiding mom and dad any way?"

"Who knows with her? Get Flynn and let's get up in the air before the weather hits."

"I'm beginning to hate weather."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The sun was bright and the air was crisp but Cody knew it was going to turn on them in a few hours. They set down close to where they had ended the search yesterday and continued from there. Jess took another path and headed to check the deeper foliage for the fishermen's SUV. There was no sign of it or any tracks. If they didn't find it today, chances were they weren't going to till spring. Jess landed in an empty field that was only a mile or so from where she had left the three men.

"Time to call it a day boys." She said into the radio. "Lunch is on me."

"I think hell has frozen over Ace?" Matt said in return.

"Give me fifteen minutes and be headed your direction." Cody answered.

"I'm three miles out from you Jess. Don't leave without me." Jess laughed at Flynn.

"I would never leave you behind Benji." Jess sat and watched the clouds. Matt was the first to arrive. He got in next to her. "You're pretty fast for an old man."

"I could still run circles around you little sister." He watched the horizon. "Mom called me this morning." Jess didn't look at him and her glasses hid her eyes so he couldn't gage her reaction.

"I just can't talk to them right now."

"Not talking to them is making whatever it is that's bothering you worse."

"I keep remembering them."

"Them? You mean Lee and Hale?"

"Yeah."

"Why does that make you afraid to talk to mom and dad?"

"It would kill them to know."

"Know what Jess?"

"How they treated me."

"Jess mom and dad know it wasn't always good for you with them." Jess looked at him.

"Always Matt. That's the key word. It was always bad when I was with them. Mom and dad paint this picture of my birth parents and it's not the people I went home to every September. I can't be the one to crush that. They were friends. Best friends." Matt looked out at the snow covered mountains that had been his home all his life. Sure he went to college and traveled now and then but it had always been his home. He didn't know what it was like not to feel that way.

"Tell me."

"They never loved me Matt. They always had someone else to take care of me. Hale never liked the nanny or Lee was looking at her the wrong way so she would fire them. I went though six of them that I remember then I turned five and she found a boarding school in Colorado that took kids from kindergarten on. I stayed then from the first week in September till the first week in June when they would take me here. I spent two nights a year in my room. At Christmas. Christmas Eve and Christmas night and then they would send me back. Other school breaks I never saw them."

"The letters you wrote Cody, you never said how bad it was."

"If I told they wouldn't let me come back. The year I broke your jaw was the only time they ever laid a hand on me. They told me I would never come back here."

"You were eight."

"I was a shameful ingrate. No one should be saddled with such an ungodly disrespectful child. That's what they told be before whipped me with a belt." Matt looked at the woman that little girl had become. She had been strong and confident and ruthless when she had to be. Matt had never once seen her weak. All those years she had been hiding the pain of the first twelve years of her life.

"Why do you think this would make mom and dad think anything less of you Jess?" He took her hand. "They love you so much. They have since the day you were born. You have to see that."

"I just don't think they would look at me the same."

"No matter what happened when you were with Lee and Hale it would not change the way mom and dad feel about you Jess. If anything it would give them the insight of why you pulled away those first couple of years."

"I didn't know how to act. I never had parents twenty four seven. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me like they did if they had to have me all year long." Matt held her hand tight and reached over and made her look at him.

"After twenty years Jess there can't be a doubt in your mind that Jesse and Jackie Hawkes don't love you every single day of their lives."

"I know but that little girl still feels that she can't do enough sometimes."

"That little girl doesn't have to worry Jess. She's loved by so many people that Hale and Lee McCormick shouldn't mean a damn thing. But I know you think that because they were the people who gave you life that you'll be more like them then the people who raised you. You know better then that Jess. You have books and research papers that tell you that it's not in your blood. You know it's in your heart. "Jess looked at her big brother. He would always be hers, just like Cody and Jesse and Jackie. She hugged him close and let twenty years of tears fall. Cody opened the back door and got in.

"Oh crap, what did I miss?" Matt turned and laughed.

"More of that High Mountain drama your so fond of." Cody rolled his eyes and Jess laughed as Benji got into the chopper, clueless as always.


	13. Chapter 13

Resolutions

Chapter Thirteen

Jess was lying on her parents couch fast asleep. It had been a long day. The snow had started before Jess could land but they all landed with no problems. The team stayed busy for the rest of the day. It was close to four o'clock when Jess finally finished up her work. She headed to her parents only to find they were gone into town. Grabbing her mother's favorite afghan from the chair she curled up on the couch and was out before her head hit the pillow.

"Jess?" She heard her name.

"What time is it?" Opening her eyes she saw her dad sitting on the coffee table.

"Almost six. Your brother called. He wants to know if you want to go to the movies with him and Sarah." Shaking her head she stretched.

"I need to get home and pack. Jen and her family will be here tomorrow."

"You can do that in the morning. Why don't you go? Matt and Robin are going." She looked at her dad.

"So I can be the fifth wheel."

"Suck it up Jess. Go have some fun with your brother's." Jess looked at her father.

"I'm sorry I've been a bad daughter lately."

"You need time to sort things out. I could see it coming. When you want to talk about it Jess, just let us know." Jess looked at her father's understanding blue eyes.

"I may never be ready." He touched her cheek.

"Then you never have to mention it again Jess. You have never felt you had to hide your feelings from me and your mother. Don't start now."

"Okay. What movie are you forcing me to see?"

"Some horror fest. Come back for pie afterward. You can sleep in the spare room. My grandbaby doesn't need to be sleeping on those uncomfortable cots." Jess smiled.

"Okay."

"Your brothers will be here in fifteen minutes." He rubbed the top of her head. "You better get rid of your bed head." Jesse smiled and kissed his daughter on her forehead. "Keep your brothers out of trouble."

"Don't I always." She got up and went into the downstairs bathroom and made herself presentable.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt's blazer pulled up ten minutes later. He blew the horn. Jess grabbed her coat and headed out the door. The back door was open and she got in.

"At least you stopped the truck." The truck was silent. Jess looked at Matt in the driver's seat. "What?" She looked next to her to see Derek. "What? I thought you weren't coming home till Tuesday." She hugged him.

"Hotch felt that I was doing him absolutely no good in DC, so he cut me loose." Jess kissed him. "I missed you."

"I missed you to." She looked at Matt and Robin in the front seat. "You two knew about this." Matt smiled.

"I wish I could take credit but we came back from cleaning the cabin he was waiting." Matt put the truck in gear and pulled out of the driveway. "Cody and Sarah are meeting us at Rusty's. By the way I packed a bag and it's in your jeep."

"Thanks. Guess I'm designated driver." She laughed and snuggled close to Derek.

"No drinking for any of us tonight. We all have work to do tomorrow. Just dinner and a movie." Jess felt Derek pull her closer and whispered in her ear.

"I swear I just wanted a quiet night." Jess smiled.

"You really don't know us very well."

"Apparently not. How's my girls?"

"Better every day."

"That's good to here." He kissed the top of her head. "I missed you Jess."

"I missed you to." They pulled into the bar and grill and Matt parked next to Cody's jeep.

"We'll meet you two inside." Robin and Matt got out of the truck.

"They must think we need a few minutes alone." Derek kissed her. "I love you Jess."

"Mmmm I love hearing that." Jess inhaled his scent. "And I love you."

"There is steak with my name on it waiting for us in there. I haven't had time to eat anything other then a sandwich since the Sunday I ate at your parents."

"Then let's get you fed." They got out of the truck and headed inside.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was midnight when Derek and Jess finally left her parents house. They walked quietly as the snow fell to Jess's jeep parked in front of the ranger station. She handed Derek the keys as he opened the door for her.

"You know it might not be a good idea for you to wake up with me in the morning?"

"Why?"

"You heard my brother's tonight. I'm not a morning person lately."

"Jess baby you have never been a morning person. I will love you no matter how crappy your morning sickness my get. The reason for your morning sickness is half my fault." He shut the door and went to the other side and got in.

"Believe me I blame you ever chance I get." She leaned over and kissed him. "Thank you for tonight. It was nice. I never went on a date with my brothers along before."

"Not even Cody?"

"Back in college we did the group thing but that's it." Derek pulled out of the driveway and headed to the lodge.

"My sisters were older then me. They wouldn't have been caught dead having little brother tag along any where let alone a date." Jess smiled. "God I missed that."

"You sisters not letting you go anywhere with them?" He laughed.

"No your smile." He reached over and took her hand. "It's funny the things I miss lately." The drove in comfortable silence to the lodge. Derek parked the jeep and got out and opened Jess's door. He grabbed her bag from the back.

"Did Garcia make it though the good byes okay?"

"Better then I expected. But I'm sure she'll call just to hear my voice." Jess laughed.

"You broke her heart Agent Morgan." They walked to the elevator.

"She likes you a lot. I think she'll just miss the hot and heavy banter we've gotten so used to." The elevator door opened.

"What floor sir?"

"Five."

"Oh my they don't give the fifth floor rooms to just anybody now." Jess leaned against the back wall.

"I guess the Hawkes name has some pull in these here mountains. I went to get a room and when I gave my name there was a lot of whispering going on and scrambling. I told them I was a couple of days early and they just smiled and handed me a room key." Jess smiled.

"They've had run INS with the boys and their tempers. I think they dated a couple of the desk clerks. I guess they figured we were getting married here they better be nice or I slack on the tips or send in my brothers." The door opened.

"They took my bags and sent me on my way to find you. I think they were up to something." Derek went to the door and slid the key card through. Jess held her breath as they walked in to room that looked like a Christmas card. The tree and the fireplace the only light in the room.

"Oh my." Was all Jess could say.

"Understatement baby. It looks like the Macy's window in here." The living room was warm and cozy and the bed was covered in a green and red spread. "Someone was busy."

"You arrived early. They've probably been scrambling since you left." There was big red poinsettia on the table behind the couch with a card. Jess took it and opened it. "'Enjoy your time together. Don't bother coming to work till you get back from DC. The room's yours till the thirtieth. Love, Mom, Dad, Matt, Robin, Cody, Sarah, Ava, Ethan and Colton.'" Jess's eyes welled up with tears for the third or forth time today.

"Please tell me those are happy tears?" She looked at them.

"You don't know the difference yet." She leaned over and kissed him. "It's late. We have a long day tomorrow." He held her close.

"Are you saying you want me to take you to bed Ranger Hawkes?" Jess smiled and kissed him.

"Take me to bed Ranger Morgan." Sleep was a long time coming for either of them.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess lay on the couch in front of the fire place. It was barley four a.m. but she couldn't sleep anymore. The fire had drawn her out of bed and on to the sofa. That's where Derek found her a half hour later. He sat at the other end and put his cold feet on her warm legs. She jumped.

"You don't play fair Morgan." She smiled and sipped the tea she had made.

"I recall you playing pretty nasty a few hours ago." He turned around and wedged himself between the back of the couch and Jess pulling her against him.

"You like me that way. You can't deny it." He nuzzled her neck.

"I do. How's your stomach?"

"Unbelievably settled at the moment." Jess looked at the fire. "I love you." She ran her fingers up and down his arm. "Thank you for giving up your life for me."

"I'm not giving up anything Jess. I'm starting a new life with the most incredible woman I've ever know." He pulled her closer. "What's wrong Jess?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just want you…" He put his hand over her mouth.

"I will not have this discussion with you now or again ever. Jess Hawkes, I love you. I want to live my life with you. I want you to have my children and to wake up every morning with you by my side." Derek took his hand off her mouth. "Not another word." He kissed her neck. "About being sure that is. If you have something more pressing to talk about we can do that."

"How do you feel about family portraits?"

"As in your family?"

"Kind of. This is the drama and don't laugh because I smacked Cody when he made me repeat it for Cutler and the both laughed but in the end agreed that is was a reason for drama and I should panic." Jess took a breath.

"Okay." Derek pulled the blanket around them and pulled her as close as he could. "Lay it on me."

"Matt carved a frame for above my parent's fire place in the den. He thought it would be great to get a picture of the family. Matt, Cody and his family and you and me. To be replaced yearly as grandkids come."

"Excellent plan so far."

"Robin's been a little needed lately and Matt thinks if he leaves her out she may think that he thinks that they aren't going to make it as a couple."

"Did I just regress back to seventh grade?"

"Pretty much. So I started thinking that we're all family here. The Hawkes and the Rangers so why not do something that reflects the whole team."

"I see the logic. Have Robin stand by Matt…"

"Maybe her hand on his shoulder so it doesn't look too intimate but enough where if it does work out it'll look great and if it doesn't it still wouldn't matter."

"Gotcha."

"You're hating the drama already."

"Jess please I grew up with three sisters. I worked for the FBI. I eat, sleep and breathe drama." He laughed. "So you worked it out?"

"Yeah. You'll have to borrow one of Matt's uniforms but it'll all work out. They guy who takes our crime photo's will be here at ten on Tuesday."

"Crime scene photographer. You're going all out." Jess smiled.

"He also owns the photo studio in Tahoe. He'll get it ready, in the frame and wrapped all before Christmas Eve."

"Miracles do come true. You have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday too."

"You remembered."

"It's with a real baby doctor, right, not Shep?"

"Why you don't like Shep?"

"I love Shep but is he qualified to do this right?"

"Just because he used to be one of us he's not qualified?" Jess turned and looked at him. He smiled.

"I meant he's a kick ass surgeon but what does he know about birthing babies?" Jess laughed.

"No. He found me a qualified OB/GYN. A woman even. I bet she knows all about birthing babies." Jess turned back to the fire. "I'm glad you're here."

"Not as glad as I am baby." He kissed her bare shoulder. "We should go back to bed." His hand slid down her arm.

"I don't want to move." Jess stretched and ran her hand down Derek's cheek. "Can't we stay here?" She purred. He smiled.

"We don't have to go anywhere." She turned on her back and he moved on top of her and they never made it back to bed.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The pounding wouldn't stop. Jess felt like a sledge hammer was pounding in her head. Only it wasn't her head. It was the door. Trying to get up she realized she was pinned down by Derek's leg.

"Hold your horses!" She yelled.

"Must you yell?" Derek moaned.

"I wouldn't have to if the jackass on the other side of the door would quit knocking." Derek rolled off her as she got up and took the blanket with her.

"Hey woman it's cold in here." She smiled.

"Get used to it honey." Unlocking the door the pounding started again as she whipped it open. Cody stood in his Sunday best. "Can you be any more annoying?" Cody looked at her.

"Yeah. You want me to go there?" She shook her head. "You better hurry. Church is in and hour and I have a feeling after last night your both going to need it." Jess lifted her arm to punch him but her stomach started to turn and she headed to the bathroom.

"I hate you Cody!" She slammed the door and proceeded to get sick.

"We could meet you there." Cody stood at the door.

"Shut the door Cody or you're going to see way more of your future brother in law then you'll ever want to see." Cody backed out and closed the door.

"See you in church. Third pew from the front. Dad likes to make sure the priest can keep an eye on Jess and me."

"I'm sure he does." Derek got somewhat dressed before he knocked on the bathroom door. "You okay baby?"

"If Cody's gone I'm just ducky."

"Yeah he's gone. You want to take a quick shower." She opened the door. "Jess baby maybe you should go back to bed."

"Thanks. I so needed to hear that from the man I'm marrying in five days." She went to the foot of the bed and got her toothbrush from her bag. "I'll meet you in there in five minutes". Derek headed for the shower and Jess headed for the sink to brush away the last ten minutes out of her mouth.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*---*-*-*-

The music was just starting as Jess and Derek slid in the third pew. Jess saw the way Father Jonah glared at her. She smiled hopping like always it would buy her a get out of hell free card. He shook his head and grinned. The man still was a sucker for her trouble. She held reached for Derek's hand and held more to keep hers from shaking then anything else. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"Relax Jess. You do this every week."

"Every week I don't spend Saturday night doing things that might be considered illegal in several states including this one. Some days I feel like the man can read my mind." Cody elbowed her. "Owe." She gasped.

"You get us kicked out again Jess dad will kill us."

"It's been a few years since I got us kicked out of anywhere." The music grew louder, the sign they should stand. The rest of the service went fairly well except for when Jess started to turn a quaint shade of green after receiving communion. But she made it without loosing what little she had left in her stomach. When the service ended the Father was at the door wishing his congregation well. He took Jess's hand and smiled.

"I heard the good news Jess. This must be the…lucky man." Father Jonah shook his hand.

"Yes Father Jonah, Derek Morgan.

"Glad to meet the man who finally tamed our Jess." Derek smiled.

"Tame would be boring Father. I love Jess just the way she is." He smiled and took Jess's hand and headed to the jeep. Derek got to the door and opened it. Jess turned and kissed him.

"Thank you." She whispered. "He's talking to my father isn't he?" Derek turned.

"Yeah."

"Crap. You burn a few ants when your seven and he can't get passed it." Cody came up behind her.

"It might have been the time you got caught necking with his nephew when you were fifteen." She turned and looked at her brother.

"You Cody James Hawkes need to shut up before I do it for you." She sat in the truck. "Don't you have a wife and kids to go home to?"

"Can you watch the kids for a couple of hours?" She looked at him.

"I was going to take Bekum up to dads. He needs a good run."

"Can you do it tomorrow? Sarah has some Christmas shopping she needs to finish up and I have to work the next two days." Jess knew her brother's didn't want her running her stallion in her condition. No one would tell her that to her face but she knew. She also knew that Matt was the only other person Bekum would let ride him. Matt was way too busy to do that for her.

"I guess one more day wouldn't hurt." She looked up to see her parents heading their way. "Here comes an ass chewing if ever I saw one." Jesse stood in front of his daughter. "Morning daddy."

"You were late."

"I was throwing up, and how was your breakfast." He frowned. "Sorry. It won't happen again. Is Jonah sending me to hell?" Jesse shook his head.

"One of these days Jess." He looked at Derek. "Could you try to keep your hands off my daughter long enough to make it to Sunday dinner on time Morgan?" Derek cleared his throat.

"Yes sir. We'll be there by three thirty."

"You better be." He looked at his two youngest children. "Either of you make trouble again during mass it's not God you have to worry about, to you hear me?"

"Yes sir." They both said. Jesse turned and headed back to his wife and his truck. Jess punched Cody as hard as she could.

"Stop. Damn it Jess we're not twelve anymore. Stop hitting me." She got in the car.

"The stop acting like you are." She slammed the door. Cody looked at Derek.

"Is she babysitting or not?" Derek shrugged.

"I'll head toward your place and if she tells me to take a left instead of a right I'll let you know."


	14. Chapter 14

Resolutions

Chapter Fourteen

Ava sat in Derek's lap as he read her a story. Jess held Colton close as she looked out the big bay window. The snow was on a two day bender. Jess couldn't remember a winter that she felt more restless. Maybe it was because of the baby or because of Derek but getting on her horse and riding as fast and as far as she could sounded really good right now.

"Auntie Jess." Ava was beside her pulling on her sweater.

"What is it baby?"

"I'm hungry and Uncle Derek says he don't know what to feed little girls." Jess smiled and looked at him sitting on the sofa.

"Tell Uncle Derek he better learn if he's right about our baby being a girl." He laughed. "There's a sandwich in the fridge with some carrot sticks. We're going to grandma and grandpas in a few hours." Jess turned back to the window. Dylan was asleep and Colton was almost there. She couldn't shake whatever it was that was making her feel like she needed to run. Putting Colton in his basinet Jess went to the phone and dialed Sarah's cell phone. She picked up in four long rings.

"Jess, is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Are you in the car?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Pull over let me talk to Cody." There was quiet then Cody came on.

"What now Jess."

"Did you pull over?"

"Jess, I'm like six miles from home can't this wait?"

"Pull over Cody." He mumbled something and then he came back.

"I'm pulled over are you happy. Now what's wrong?"

"I don't know." She whispered. Cody knew by the tone in her voice she was shaking.

"The kids okay?"

"Yeah. They boys are napping and Ava's eating her lunch with Derek in the kitchen." Jess sat down. The morning sickness she suffered this morning was treating to return.

"Take a deep breath Jess and tell me why you called."

"I was feeling restless."

"Getting cold feet?"

"No. I just felt like I needed to run. It was strange."

"We can discuss it when I get home. Sarah can check you out." Cody looked ahead of them. "Jess let me call you back." He hung up. "Sarah, is that what I think it is?"

"Smoke." Cody turned on his light bar, checked for traffic and pulled out. A half mile down the road there was a logging truck overturned. The car they had passed just before Jess called was pinned underneath along with a pick up truck. Cody picked up his radio.

"Ace to Ranger base."

"Frost Bite here Ace. I thought it was your day off?"

"So did I. Call the sheriff and order a full rescue team to highway fifty, a mile from Cold Creek Canyon Road. I have an over turned logging truck and two vehicles underneath. Unknown amount of people involved. Get White Eagle in the air and have him land at the overlook above the logging road."

"You got it Ace. Anything else?"

"Call my mom and tell her Sarah and I are going to be late for dinner."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess was sitting on the coffee table when Derek came into the living room. She was pale and looked like she wasn't breathing right. He went to her.

"Jess?" She looked up.

"I'm okay." The phone rang and Jess hit the call button. "Sarah?"

"Yeah. Can you take the kids to mom and dads with you?"

"Why, what's wrong?" Jess started breathing heavy.

"A logging truck turned over ahead of us. Jess the car that Cody passed just before you called is pinned underneath." The phone fell from her hand as she got up and headed for the bathroom. Derek picked up the phone.

"Sarah?"

"I need to go help Cody. Take care of Jess. Take the kids to mom and dads for us will you. There's an accident on the highway. We might be awhile."

"Yeah, sure anything you need."

"Welcome to the family Derek." She whispered before she hung up. Taking the first responder bags Cody always kept in the truck she ran over to the truck and did the best she could to help the people trapped inside.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Three hour later Cody and Sarah dragged themselves back to their truck. Cody stored the bags in the back and made a mental note to restock them in the morning. He got in next to Sarah and leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Are we going to talk about this or is it going to be one of those things we just pretend didn't happen and go on from there."

"Sarah…"

"Cody we can't go on pretending." He opened his eyes and Sarah knew she was in for a fight. There was blue ice staring back at her.

"I can't explain what happened. Chalk one up for baby sisters gut instincts." Sarah looked at him.

"You think that's all it is?"

"And you don't? Sarah it's not the first time she had a bad feeling and it won't be the last. I would think you would be happy that she called or it could have been us under that pile of logs. I don't know about you but I like sitting here in the freezing cold fighting versus the alternative." Sarah looked down at the blood on her jeans.

"I'm tired and all I want is to take a shower and eat a piece of your mom's cherry pie. I don't want to fight Cody. I just want to get some kind of grip on what's going on with Jess." Cody looked out the window at the setting sun.

"We may never know. Just be glad whatever it is, it was working today." He put the truck in gear and pulled out on to the highway and headed home.

**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Matt was in the kitchen getting plates to set the table when Cody and Sarah walked in freshly showered.

"Took you long enough?"

"The mall was a bitch." Cody grabbed a beer from the fridge. Sarah grabbed the plates from Matt knowing the brothers needed to talk.

"Did I ever tell you how much I like her?" Cody took a long drink of his beer.

"Hands off brother. She's mine."

"I got my hands full thank you." Matt looked at his little brother. He was tense. It had been a long time since he had seen Cody that way. "What happened?"

"It was horrible Matt. The blood. The little kids crying for their parents. It's been a long time since I had trouble stomaching a scene."

"It's when you stop being troubled at all that we have to start to worry." Cody looked at his brother.

"It was almost us under that cluster."

"What?"

"Jess called about two miles before the accident. She wanted to talk to me but only if I pulled over." He took another long drink from his beer. "It could have been Sarah and me under ten tons of logs and steel. I couldn't stop thinking about what would have happened if it had been us. I just had our will rewritten but it's still on my desk waiting for me to sign it and send it back to Lucas." He looked down at his boots. "It was just so eye opening." Looking up he saw Jess in the doorway. He set down his beer and she ran into his arms. She sobbed. "It's all good Jess. We're fine." She clung tight to the one person that had been there for her all her life. The one person she couldn't bare to loose.

"I…Cody." He held her for a long time. Matt got another beer for him and Cody and water for Jess. She pushed him away and looked at his face. He hadn't shaved after his shower and his five o'clock shadow made him look more like Jesse then she ever thought possible. "Next time I tell you to pull over I expect I will get 'whatever you say Jess' instead of 'damn hormones'" She ran her left hand over his cheek and punched his shoulder with her right.

"Damn it Jess that's twice today." Sarah walked in for the silver ware.

"Serves you right." She looked at her husband.

"Whose side are you on?"

"I learned along time ago there's no right or wrong in this family just a whole lot of grey. The sooner Derek learns that the better off he'll be." Grabbing the forks from the drawer Matt was holding open she turned and left. Matt watched her go.

"Have I told you lately how much I like that woman?" Cody turned and looked at him.

"You may have your chance with her if she doesn't start behaving herself." He turned back to Jess. "I don't know whatever made you call us this afternoon Jess but whatever it was thank you." He hugged her again. Leaning down he whispered in her ear. "You hit me again like that its game on baby sister." He patted her back, grabbed his beer and headed into the living room to find his kids. Jess smiled and wiped her tears. Matt handed her the water.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sarah said I'm unbelievably healthy for the stress my brothers inflict on me." She smiled. "How about you?"

"I just want to know what happened today."

"It was weird. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Like the whole world was closing in on me."

"You felt that way before?"

"Twice." She boosted herself on the counter. Derek came in.

"Is it safe to come in?" Jess laughed.

"Enter at your own risk." He came and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around him, "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her then turned around and settled between her legs. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No, Jess was just going to tell me what happened today." Matt looked at her. Derek looked up.

"I kind of would like to know that too." She looked at them both. Taking a drink of her water and set it down.

"Just before I called Cody I felt like things were closing in on me. I wasn't sure why. I only felt that way twice before. When Cody left for boot camp and a few hours before we got the phone call he missed his check in and was in Afghanistan."

"Both times it had to do with Cody?" Matt asked. She nodded. "So you called him first?"

"Yeah. I figured whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good."

"Some days I think the two of you were twins." Matt took a long drink of his beer and offered one to Derek. He shook his head. "The High Mountain drama is getting thick around here little sister." Jess rolled her eyes in the way that was so Cody it was scary. Jesse came in the room.

"The three of you going to chit chat out here all night or can we eat dinner now that your brother decided to make an appearance?" He looked at Jess and Derek. "Girl get your ass off your mother's counter." Jesse grabbed a beer. Jess wrapped her legs and arms around Derek and he lifted her off and carried her to the noisy dining room and to the first family dinner the truly appreciated for a long, long time.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Sarah sat on the bed and put lotion on her hand. It had been a long time since she put her nursing skills to the test. After Ava had been kidnapped by her ex right out of her daycare Sarah hadn't had the heart to go back to work full time. Then when she married Cody there was no doubt that she would stay home and be a mother to their children. Some days she missed it. But it was days like today when the rush came back to her that she regretted letting that part of her go. Cody came in and sat down on the edge of the bed and took off his watch.

"Both the boys sleeping?" She asked.

"Yeah. Colton had too much Auntie Jess time today. He kept looking for her to sing him to sleep." Cody would have never thought at six weeks old his sons would be so much like little people, with their likes and dislikes.

"Have you noticed he has that one smile he saves just for her?" Cody chuckled. He had noticed.

"Don't tell her that or it will go to her head." Cody got into bed and laid his head ageist the head board. "You made me proud today Sarah." He turned and looked at her. "We could use you on the team." Sarah laughed.

"You've seen me on skis Cody." He smiled. She was really an awful skier.

"You don't have to ski to be an emergency responder."

"I'll leave the hero stuff to the other Hawkes in the family. I like being just a mom right now." He shook his head.

"Your so more then that Sarah." He leaned and kissed her. "Don't ever think I don't know how much you do for us." Leaning back. "I'm sorry about today."

"Today wasn't the problem Cody. I don't care what's going on with Jess, she's your sister and I'm worried about her. This stress isn't good for her or the baby." Closing his eyes he knew she was right. How could he tell his sister who live for the rush that the rush would do more harm then good for awhile. Jess was a smart woman but her common sense went out the window sometimes. Cody and Matt had it leashed for awhile but lately it had broken loose again.

"Maybe when she takes the next few weeks off she'll like the way it feels and decide to take it easy till the baby comes."

"We are talking about Jess right?" Cody opened his eyes and looked at his wife. "The woman, who being threaded with treason, still went into the mountains of Afghanistan to pull your ass out of a hole with only your brother and her boyfriend for back up?" He knew she was right. It would take a doctor or their father to scare her into taking it easy. The father part he could handle. Maybe the doctor part too if he got to Shep in time. Rolling over he pulled his wife down on the bed.

"Can we quit talking about my sister?" He kissed her. "As much as I love talking about her in bed with you lying next to me there is a million other things I would like to be doing other then that." Sarah smiled.

"Well, feel free to change the subject." They spent the rest of the night doing nothing that had anything to do about anything other then each other.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Matt stood watching the snow out the front window of Robin's house and drinking a cup of coffee. He hadn't meant to come here tonight. He had tons of work to do back at the station and Jen and her family were coming today. He also had to go get fitted for his tux for Friday. But in light of Cody's near death experience he knew he didn't want to spend the night alone.

"Do you ever sleep more then three hours at a time?" Robin came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Not lately." He pulled her around to the front of him and held her close. "Somebody keeps waking me up." Matt kissed the top of her blond head.

"I didn't here any complaints." Matt smiled.

"And you never will." He kissed her. "I should head into work. I have to leave at ten to pick up dad and go get fitted for our tux's."

"You are going to look so hot. I'm going to have to fight the women off." Matt laughed.

"You carry a gun. Most woman find that intimidating enough to keep them away." Kissing her again. "Do you mind if I stay here while Jen's in town?" Robin looked surprised but flattered.

"My brother is coming on Wednesday but that's fine." He had forgotten that Daniel was coming to spend Christmas with his sister.

"I can stay at the station with Cutler."

"No, really, it's fine." He looked at her.

"Are you sure?" Kissing him she nodded.

"Yes now go get ready for work before I make you late again." He laughed and headed to the shower to get ready for one long day.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Jess." Derek knocked on the bathroom door. "How's it going in there?

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah, believe it or not."

"I may make it to fight another day." She opened the door. "Could you…" He handed her her toothbrush. "Thank you." She went to the sink and brushed her teeth.

"I have to meet your dad and Matt at ten to get fitted for my tux." Jess looked at him though the mirror.

"I can't wait to see you in it." He smiled.

"I kind of thought you liked what you saw without it." Jess laughed.

"I have no complaints. But something about a man in a tux is one of the sexiest things in the world." She turned and kissed him. "Last chance to change your mind. Once they measure your inseam your mine forever." Derek smiled.

"I think I can handle that." Jess laughed and turned to get into the shower. She dropped her robe.

"Or die trying." She laughed and Derek took his second shower of the morning.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*--*

Jess sat at the front desk and scribbled some things on a sheet of paper in front of her. She heard the front door open and Cody shaking the snow off his head. He turned to hang his jacket up.

"What are you doing here?" He walked to the desk.

"Matt, Dad and Derek needed to get fitted for their tuxes so I thought I'd hang out here for a few hours. Why aren't you with them?" He smiled and sat down across from her.

"The perks of having a wife with parents who like to throw benefits. I actually own my own tux. Matt's picking my vest and tie up. "

"They really like you don't they?"

"Better then the last man she married. You're not afraid of meeting Derek's mom and sisters are you?"

"I never really met parents before Cody. I mean Cutlers were bastards to him. The few guys in high school were your friends and we hung out at their houses but their parents were just there. In college parents weren't a concern. I never really dated in DC."

"You'll do just fine. I never heard a bad thing about you from the people you've met." He smiled. "Well there is Father Jonah." Jess threw a balled up piece of paper at her.

"Let's just face it I'm going to hell and he pushing the down button." She stood and filed some papers. "I just hop they don't totally hate me. I mean we're already going to be married when I meet them."

"Jess don't worry. Just stay away from talking about your fetish with blowing things up and torturing small defenseless animals and should all be good." If she was closer he would of gotten hit he knew it by the look on her face.

"Do you live to annoy me Cody?"

"Pretty much." He stood up. "That and having sex with my wife. What more is there in life?" He headed to the kitchen.

"You cuteness is going to ware off Hawkes."

"So is yours." He yelled back. Jess continued filling until the door opened again twenty minutes later. Her father came in.

"I leave your in charge of taking care of the groom and best man and you loose them. Daddy what am I going to do with you?" He glared at his daughter.

"You're a smart ass Jesse Lynn and one of these days it's going to get you into a heap of trouble." She looked at her dad.

"I hate to break it to you, it already has." She came from behind the desk and hugged him. "Everything go okay?"

"Yeah. Shelly at over at the tailors said if you change your mind you know where you can send Derek."

"Guess she's given up on you then huh daddy?" He smiled.

"How are you feeling today?" She sat on the edge of the desk.

"It's getting easier. Really, dad where did you leave Matt and Derek?"

"The garage. Matt needed to show Derek something with one of the sleds."

"He isn't. Daddy you were supposed to keep him out of there." Garcia had called her a few weeks back and they got to talking and Jess had asked her if there was something fun that they might do for Derek's call name. She had suggested 'Chocolate Thunder' and Jess couldn't say no.

"I'm kidding. They stopped at Matt's house for something. They should be here in a few minutes." The door opened and a young woman walked in. "Jen!" The woman turned and smiled and ran to Jesse.

"Jesse!" She hugged him and turned and hugged Jess. "I missed you guys."

"Where's the rest of the family?"

"The girls saw Matt down by his cabin and I couldn't stop them." Jesse smiled.

"I'm heading home anyway I'll stop and say hello. Jackie said we're all invited to the diner for dinner tonight so don't bother thinking about cooking."

"Thanks Jesse." Jen turned to Jess. "So where is this hot husband to be of yours? I called Sarah a couple of days ago and she had nothing but good to things to say about him."

"Did she now." Jess smiled. "Did she tell you I was pregnant?" Jen screamed and hugged her.

"No Jess, that's great." Cody came out to see what the commotion was about. "Cody!" Jen ran and hugged him.

"Hey Jen. How've been?"

"Good. How about you?"

"Not much sleep with the twins but we're getting by. Where's Blake and the girls?"

"Erin saw Matt and they went running down to his place. Blake went to supervise." Benji came in and brought a gust of wind with him.

"Jen, hey." He waved. "Jess Matt said he can't keep Derek busy all afternoon so you need to get down to his place."

"Okay. Come on Jen I'll let you meet my husband to be."

"I hope he isn't scared away from father hood when he sees my bunch." Jess grabbed her jacket.

"Nothing scares him." They walked down the road. "Cody had some contractor friends look at the lodge. It'll cost about seven thousand dollars to fix it." Jen looked sad. "If Blake can get a better price…"

"It's not that. I love coming here but the up keep on the lodge is getting pretty steep."

"Are you looking to sell it?" Jen smiled.

"I just can't justify the cost anymore. If we could get up here more it would be a good investment but with Blake's work and all the girls activities we just can't make it up here as much as I would like."

"If and when you want to sell please give me a call. I would like to buy it from you. Kind of like staying in the family and whenever you want to come up you could."

"Jess that's sweet but last year when they made the logging road they surveyed the land. It's worth a quarter of a million dollars." Jess smiled.

"Would it be to pretentious of me if I ask you if you'd take a check?" Jen stopped her.

"You have that kind of money?"

"My parents did." Jen didn't remember Jess's birth parents much but she remembered they were lawyers.

"Well you'll be my first phone call after I talk to Blake." They walked down the road. The three men were standing talking as the girls threw snow balls at each other. "I can't believe less then a hundred miles west there's not a chance of getting below sixty degrees for the next week and here the snow is waist deep."

"I know. You'll have to ask Cody how that works. He tries to tell me so if he's gone I can read the weather reports but I gave up a long time ago." Jess walked up behind Derek and hugged him. "Hey handsome. I heard the tailor liked your package." He turned and smiled.

"It was tempting but I told her you'd kick her ass if you knew." He kissed her. Matt and Jen were exchanging greetings then Jen turned to Derek.

"Derek Morgan, Jen Reynolds."

"Hi Jen. Jess has told me a lot about you." They shook hands. "You have some great kids." Jen smiled.

"Thanks. I hear congratulations are in order."

"Thanks. " Jess took Derek's hand.

"I hate to run but we have some wedding stuff to get done before our busy day tomorrow." She hugged Jen. "If you guys need anything just call my cell. I'm not working at all this week."

"Okay. Take care." Matt yelled for Derek and he turned. Matt threw a bag at him.

"See you guys at dinner." They waved. Derek wrapped his arm around Jess and they walked up to her jeep.

"What things do we have to do for the wedding?" Jess smiled.

"Believe it or not my family is driving me nuts." She kissed him. "Want to see something great?" He pulled her close.

"If it's the same great thing I saw this morning I would love to see more of that."

"You have years to enjoy that." She got in the driver's seat. Derek got in.

"Should I be scared?"

"Very." Jess drove west toward her destination. "Can I tell you I'm kind of scared about meeting your family." He looked at her.

"You shouldn't. They like you already." Jess laughed.

"They never met me."

"I've told them about you and sent pictures. Jess you don't have to worry. I swear they will love you." Jess pulled into an overlook and stopped the car, Emerald Bay was frozen and you could see the Lake Tahoe in all its winter glory. "Where are we?"

"Inspiration Point." Derek smiled.

"Really?"

"Really." Derek leaned over and kissed her.

"We should take advantage of that."

"Why do you think I brought you here?" She kissed him again. Jess let all the fear and tension leave her. This was her place away from everything. She wanted to share it with Derek. To let him know that he was part of her now. This moment was the first time Jess truly shared all of herself with another person. Not even Cody knew about her trips up here. Some days she would take hours and walk around the ridges and valleys looking for the peace she so desperately wanted and needed. She found that. Here with Derek Morgan.


	15. Chapter 15

Resolutions

Chapter Fifteen

Jess rolled over and turned off the alarm. Derek pulled her back to the center of the bed. She snuggled closer. It was going to be a long day. With doctor's appointments, pictures, meetings, and wedding plans Jess just wanted to pull the blanket over her head and forget about today.

"You want to save time and take a shower together?" Derek whispered in her ear.

"It sounds really good but have we actually showered in the shower the last two days?"

"Does it really matter?" He laughed and pulled her closer.

"Not really." She turned in his arms. There was a knock on the door. "It's seven o'clock in the morning. Who the hell could that be?"

"No clue."

"You know its Cody." Jess got up and grabbed her robe. "You start the shower I'll get rid of the pest." Derek headed for the bathroom and Jess opened the door. "How did I know it was you?"

"Because you love seeing me first thing in the morning." He smiled. Jess leaned against the door.

"You got me confused with someone else." He handed her two files.

"I'm off for two weeks Cody. I won't do your paper work."

"It's not my paper work. It's your pare…Lee and Hale's medical records." Jess looked confused. "I thought with the baby coming you might need to know about your medical history. I pulled a few strings and got them from the law offices."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know what to expect. Mom and Dad knew the basics and got your records when they adopted you but I knew you didn't know anything about Lee and Hale's history." She reached to touch Cody's cheek. He pulled back. "The last time you did that you punched me." Jess smiled and hugged him.

"I love you Cody." He hugged her back.

"I love you to sis." Jess stepped back.

"We'll come to the station after the appointment."

"You're giving him his sled today?" Jess smiled.

"He's going to hate it." Cody smiled.

"Blame Garcia. It was her idea. I must say Matt outdid himself on that one though." Cody looked at his sister. "Take care. I'll see you after your appointment." Jess closed the door and headed to the shower.

"Was it Cody?" Derek said over the water.

"Yeah." Jess took off her robe and stepped into the shower. Derek turned and looked at her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Cody just brought Lee and Hale's medical records so I would have them."

"Their medical records?"

"Yeah. I never had them before now. No real reason to, I guess. All my records came with me when I came to live here." Jess stood under the spray of the water. Derek kissed her and all thoughts of medical records and Lee and Hale were lost.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Jess Hawkes?" The nurse called her name. She and Derek stood up and followed her into a small room. "My names Bess, I'm Dr. Hamilton's nurse." Jess smiled. She hated small rooms. Put a friendly nurse and doctor in the mix it made her more uncomfortable. Taking a deep breath Jess prayed that the morning sickness that had been noticeably absent this morning wouldn't rear its ugly head.

"Sorry, my fiancé is a little nervous. She's not big on doctors." The nurse smiled.

"Don't worry, Dr. Hamilton is the best." She took a blood pressure cuff and did all the routine things for first time visits. "The doctor will be in soon." The older woman stood and left the room.

"Breathe Jess." Derek took her hand. It was cold and clammy. "Baby there's nothing to be worried about."

"Maybe I should have read those reports. Maybe I have some genetic disposition to some complicated birth defect."

"Jess, stop. Shep's seen your medical records and he never said anything was wrong. Now be nice to the lady doctor and maybe she'll give you a lollypop." Jess looked at him.

"You forget Morgan I carry a gun. Keep it up and you'll find out what kind of shot I am." The door opened and a woman who looked fifteen came into the room. Jess started to stand up but Derek pulled her down.

"Jess Hawkes. I have heard so much about you. I couldn't wait till I could meet you in person." Jess forced a smile.

"Here I am." Dr. Hamilton reached out her hand and Jess shook it.

"You must be the father to be."

"Derek Morgan." They shook hands.

"Great, we'll get things started. When you checked in you gave your parents medical records. Dr. Shepard had motioned you were adopted and that you may have some questions, I'll go over them before our next visit and see if there's anything we may be concerned about."

"Thank you." Jess took a deep breath.

"Well why don't we get you set up for and ultra sound. You have your conception on October twenty third."

"Yes." The doctor continued writing.

"That should put your due date around the seventeenth of July." The doctor stood up. "If you would like to get on the table we'll set up. How's your morning sickness been?"

"Today was the first time in a couple of weeks I haven't thrown up."

"Good, so things are looking up?"

"You could say that I guess." Derek helped Jess on the table.

"Dr. Shepard said you were shot about a month ago. And then caught in an avalanche that dislocated your shoulder?"

"Shep sure is the chatty one now isn't he."

"He just wanted to update me on things." The doctor pulled out the table to accommodate her legs. "So this morning you felt better?"

"Yeah, not too bad. I was able to eat some toast." The doctor worked on the machine in front of her.

"Have you been eating after the bouts in the morning?"

"Toast mostly. But I've been eating pretty good at dinner."

"No lunch?"

"Fruit if I have time. Yogurt." Dr. Hamilton looked at the chart in front of her.

"You've lost nearly ten pounds since you were admitted two weeks ago. We'll have to keep and eye on that. Maybe now that the morning sickness has gotten better." The young doctor smiled. "If you pull up your shirt we can get started." Jess pulled her shirt up to her breasts. "This will be cold." The doctor put jell on her belly. Then ran a wand over it.

"Is that her?" Derek asked as the doctor stopped.

"Her? You already have a hunch dad?"

"Pretty much. Gotta have a girl as beautiful as her mom." Jess smiled.

"Well it's too early to tell that but when your ready I'm sure we can let you know." Jess was quiet.

"Are you okay Jess?" Derek looked at her. She nodded. He took her hand. She was shaking. "That's our baby Jess." He kissed her cheek.

"Yeah." Jess swallowed hard. Dr. Hamilton made some notes and printed out some pictures.

"Everything looks good Jess. I'm a little concerned about your weight loss but with the morning sickness over I'm sure you can put on a pound by our next appointment. Do have any concerns?"

"I'm a pilot. Helicopters mostly. Is it okay to go up if I need to?"

"I don't see why not at least for the next few months. Play it by ear. Your work, other then the flying is there anything else you think you might not be able to do?"

"I'm taking the desk for the next seven months or so. But sometimes we need an extra pilot."

"Flying is okay for now. Repelling down cliffs and skiing down mountains not recommended. Shep told me you're a bit of a dare devil." Jess laughed.

"That was before I added wife and mother to my list."

"Well it's a long and distinguished list. Be proud of all you done." Dr. Hamilton stood. "Take your time getting out of here." She handed them three pictures. "I labeled the parts so you can brag to your friends. I will see you in a month." She put out her hand and they both shook it and she left.

"I like her." Derek helped Jess clean up and get off the table.

"Yeah. Better then I expected." Jess hugged Derek. The left the doctor's office on cloud nine. Neither one of them thought they would ever come down.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The picture taking took longer then they expected. Getting fifteen people and three kids to sit still long enough to get one good picture wasn't as easy as they thought it would be. It was nearly noon before the Ranger's new and old gathered around the table. Matt stood at the head and handed out papers.

"The new year starts the new schedule. It's not perfect by any means but we've been slow for the last three weeks and after Christmas it's going to get slower till spring break." He sat down. "Some of you need some training hours and I would love for all of us to have them in on time for once. So if you can, on your days off pick up a book and read. Any medical training you need to bone up on Jess is on desk duty until further notice so ask her to find what you need or teach it to you."

"I promise I won't bite." Everyone laughed.

"Keep telling them that Jess. Maybe they will believe you." Cody stood up and handed out his papers. "The weather has sucked around here since before Halloween and if the reports are right it's only going to get worse. The plows aren't getting out like they should but that's only because the plow drivers are working around the clock and they need a break now and then. We will be making welfare checks up the mountain." Cody glared at Cutler. "I talked to my dad and he's going up today with Izzy and Robin to try and talk Gabe into coming down till after Christmas, but if he doesn't someone will go up there once a week and chop wood and bring him supplies."

"He makes a hell of a cup of coffee." Cutler said. Cody smiled.

"Glad you see things my way Jimmy." Cody sat down. Matt stood.

"With that said boys and girls I would like to welcome Derek Morgan to our ranks. Most of you have met him. He's got a lot to bring to the table here and I respect his input. I expect you all to make sure you show him around when you're on patrol and please don't loose him like you did Cooper because I'm not going to try to explain to my father why my sister's husband was dumped in the middle of nowhere to fend for himself. I still can't look Cooper's mom in the eye." They all laughed. "Okay let's take this meeting into the shed." They all got up. Jess waited till everyone was ahead of her before she started.

"You okay sis?" Cody stopped.

"Just a little dizzy."

"Did you eat this morning?"

"Toast." Cody led her into the kitchen and got her some orange juice.

"When this thing is done I'll make you something."

"Cody you don't have to do that. I'm fine." He led her out the kitchen door.

"You look like your going to pass out."

"I'm fine, really." They stopped at the small entrance of the barn.

"Nice of you two to join us." Matt looked at his siblings.

"Sorry." Jess looked pale.

"Okay. I'm seeing a lot of wet floors in the main building. If you've forgotten this area here is to take the snow off your sleds before you park them. It also is for mud from your bikes and four wheelers. I just got the ATV's that are replacing the ones Jess and Derek let get blown up last fall." Jess looked at Derek.

"I told you we would never live that down."

"Your right he doesn't let things go does he?"

"Okay you two, you also owe Cutler three hundred bucks to replace his door." Jess eyes got wide.

"Find Satan and take it out of his hide." Matt laughed.

"Jess is still in charge of maintenance till further notice so if you're having trouble with anything mechanical see her."

"Till I get to big to see under the hood." She looked at Jacobs whose eyes got wide. "Sorry I thought everyone knew. I'm pregnant." Tonya Jacobs hugged her.

"Guess I'm the last to know everything."

"Work once in a while and you'd know everything." Jayden Trainer told her.

"Okay…one last thing. Jess." Jess went over to a sled in the corner.

"We all have call names. Not all of them are appreciated the way they should be but my father and Matt have made it mandatory to have one. When I polled…" She looked at Matt, "Is that the word I'm looking for?" Matt smiled and shrugged. "Anyway Derek…I was stumped when Matt asked me about what you might like for your call name. I had a whole lot of them but nothing you could put on the front of a snowmobile for God and my father to see." The group laughed. Jess stepped back. "This is what I got." Matt and Cody took off the cover.

"Jess…" Derek looked at her and laughed. On the front of the sled was a big black thunder cloud and a big candy bar ripped in half. Under it were the words, Chocolate Thunder. "You are so not talking to Garcia ever again." He hugged her. "Ah…thank you …I think." They all laughed,

"Okay people those who are here to work get cracking and the rest of you get out of here." Matt went to Jess and Derek. "I can repaint it with anything you want. Jess and I just couldn't resist."

"You did this?"

"Jess asked me too." Derek smiled.

"It's great Matt. You don't have to change it." Jess pulled a picture out of her pocket.

"You want to see the first picture of your niece?" She handed him the picture.

"Jess this is great. I guess you can't deny it's real." He handed the picture back. "I'm happy for both of you." He hugged Jess and shook Derek's hand. "I have to get to work. We still on for tonight Derek?"

"Yeah."

"We'll meet you at the Lodge around six."

"Sounds good." Jess looked at Derek.

"Should I ask what you two are up to?"

"You can but I won't tell." He kissed her and pressed her against the door of the shed. "It's a secret."

"My brother's are getting you drunk aren't they?"

"Not if I can help it. I needed to go pick up a few things and one thing lead to another and they sucked me in Jess." She smiled.

"Just don't start talking about me with Cutler because it will only end badly. My brother's carry guns and you might get caught in the cross fire sweetheart." Jess ran her hand down his cheek. "Does this mean my mother didn't just invite me to her house for a last minute dress fitting?"

"You didn't hear it from me." He kissed her again and let his hands go down her back and cover her rear end.

"Okay people no PDA's on Ranger property." Cody came out to the shed. "You need to eat something young lady and stop molesting this man."

"Hey I don't give you crap when you grab your wife's ass while I'm trying to eat dinner so stay out of my business." Cody laughed.

"Okay, fair enough but go eat. I made you an omelet. Go eat it before Flynn does." Derek let Jess go.

"You have to stop taking care of me Cody." She looked at him.

"I have three more days till I hand that responsibility over to this guy. Humor me." She smiled.

"Okay. Please take care of him tonight." She turned and headed toward the station.

"You told her!"

"When was the last time you tried to lie to your sister?" Cody looked at him. He couldn't do it anymore then Derek could.

"Izzy will have to keep you out of trouble because I'm getting plastered."

"Like your wife will put up with you hung over on Christmas Eve anymore then Jess will me. Or your parents for that matter." Cody raised his eyebrows.

"You have a point. Can I at least get a buzz?"

"Fine. But if Jess asked it was all you." Cody nodded.

"You have my back I have yours doesn't apply with Jess does it?"

"Nope. She'll take us both down without a second thought." Derek laughed and headed the direction of the station.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody looked at the computer screen and closed his eyes and rubbed them. He was getting way too old for this crap. Storm fronts running into storm fronts were driving him insane.

"It's almost five Cody, why don't you call it a day." Matt was at the door of the weather room.

"I have a ton of paperwork to file before tomorrow."

"Nothings going to happen if you leave it till the week end."

"When you can't find the barometer reports don't come crying to me." He stood up. "If you were going to train anyone to read these things, who would it be?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"Unless you're going to hire another meteorologist I need to teach someone to read the reports. Jess is the only other person who can sort any of this crap out with some sort of certainty."

"Robin?"

"Okay. Tell her Monday she starts working with me. I don't want to have Jess worrying." Jess came into the office.

"Jess doesn't worry. She frets." She looked at her brothers. They both looked a little rough. "Oh, tough room." She sat down and handed Cody her ultra sound picture. "I forgot to show you this before I left this afternoon. Thank you for the omelet by the way."

"She kind of looks like you Jess." Cody smiled.

"She is beautiful isn't she?" Cody looked at his sister. She was really glowing. Cody had never seen Jess look more beautiful then that moment.

"She is." Matt looked at them.

"What if it's a boy?" He asked.

"Derek is convinced it's a girl." Cody handed back the picture. Jess looked at it for the millionth time. "I hope he's not disappointed."

"Nothing you do would disappoint that man Jess." Cody got up. "Come on I'll walk you to mom and dads." He grabbed his coat. "Meet you in an hour buddy?" He looked at Matt.

"Give me two. Take it slow I'm not explaining to mom why you're puking up her Figgie pudding." Cody laughed.

"I haven't done that since college and even then it was Jess not me." Jess smacked the back of his head.

"Was not." She grabbed her coat.

"I told you the next time you hit me woman it's game on." Jess ran out the back door and Cody followed, picking up a handful of snow along the way.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Derek sat at the bar with Cody. The rest of the guys were playing pool. It was almost eight and Matt had yet to show up.

"I should call him." Cody looked at Derek.

"He'll get here when he gets here." He took a drink of his beer,

"You so not like the other guys my sister dated." Derek laughed.

"I'm not going there with you Cody."

"I'm just saying…"

"Yeah, okay. She's really great."

"Yeah she is, isn't she?" Cody smiled. "Every day that girl amazes me." Cody turned and set his beer on the bar. "The day she pulled my ass out of Afghanistan was the day I realized she wasn't a kid I could protect anymore."

"You thought differently before?"

"I knew she always had my back but that was above and beyond." Derek looked at his future brother in law.

"It takes a special woman to suit up and go half way across the world to a war torn country and pull your ass out."

"Damn straight my friend. And they were going to lock her ass up. I didn't know that till after we got back and she didn't visit me in the hospital. Matt wouldn't tell me. I thought she was mad at me for accepting the mission. Turns out she was in the brig." Cody laughed. "You haven't seen pissed till you've seen Jesse Hawkes after he finds out one of his kids is being detained at a Marine Corp base on charges of treason."

"Really. They arrested her?"

"Damn straight. She saw it coming though. Made Matt and Cutler jump out at the border. You're getting yourself a mighty fine woman there Morgan." Derek knew that, but it was really nice to here it from someone else.

"You're so cut off Cody." Matt came up to the bar. "A beer Chrissie." The blond smiled.

"You got it Matt." He sat next to his brother.

"Sorry about chatty Cathy here. Give him a beer and you can't shut him up."

"I resent that. I just was telling our brother Derek here what a kick ass woman he's marrying." Matt smiled.

"Not that you aren't the least bit bias or anything."

"And your not?" He looked at Cody.

"Yeah well, I guess I am." Derek laughed.

"I'm glad she has you guys. She wouldn't know how to love like she does if it wasn't for you and your parents." Cody looked at Matt. Matt downed his beer and turned and got another one from the blond bar tender. "Did I say something wrong?" Cody looked at Derek.

"No man, we know that Jess wouldn't be the same if she hadn't come to live with us." Cody downed his beer. "Now more then ever." Derek looked at the younger man.

"Talk to me Cody." Cody turned and Derek saw what Jess always saw when Cody was holding back his anger. The storm in his blue eyes was unmistakable.

"Just know that if Lee and Hale had lived the Jess who we know would have died a long, long time ago." He slammed his beer bottle down and headed to the pool table. Derek looked at Matt who hadn't turned away from the bar. He was staring at a point far off in the distance.

"You okay man?"

"Yeah." He looked at Derek. "I wish I would have seen what was going on when she wasn't with us. I don't even think our parents knew. Cody knows and it's eating him up inside. Sarah says he isn't sleeping and when he does he wakes up in a cold sweat saying he's sorry."

"Maybe he should sit down and talk to Jess. Work it out?" Matt shook his head.

"She's got way too much on her plate right now. Maybe when you come back from DC."

"Matt, if this thing with Cody gets worse and it affects him in other ways he may get hurt. Or worse. Jess couldn't live with herself if that happened. If he needs to talk to Jess, let him." Matt looked at his brother standing next to Cutler. He looked like hell but nobody who valued their life would tell him that tonight. Matt took a swig of his beer and contemplated his options.

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Jess was tired. It had been a long day. Her mother had thrown her an impromptu wedding shower. It was nice for family and friends to get together but exhausting none the less. She walked into the bar to get Derek and head up to bed. Jess got way more then she bargained for. Cody stood with a pool stick in his hand and Cutler backed against the dart board. A man with a knife stood between them. Jess pushed her jacket aside and put her hand on her gun.

"Okay Wayne back off and throw the knife on the pool table." She looked at the big man.

"He's cheating Jess." Jess rolled her eyes.

"How many times does he have to take your paycheck before you realize that Wayne? He's a son of a bitch from way back. Now set the knife down before Cody takes that cue and shows you a new way to rack your balls." Wayne moved closer to Cutler.

"I can't loose that money Jess."

"Wayne you can't win this one. Just put the knife down and we all walk away." Cody set the pool cue on the table and raised his hands. Taking two steps back he stood behind Jess. He was surrounded and he knew it. Five Rangers could hold their own against one red neck but Wayne was royally pissed. "Jimmy give the man his money back." Cutler nodded and reached into his pocket.

"I was just playing with you man." Jess's hand remained on her gun.

"Wayne you don't want to spend Christmas in jail. I know Lucy and the kids would be so disappointed." Jess took a step toward the big man. "Look at me Wayne. Cutler isn't worth loosing them. I'll deal with him, you take your money and you go home and spend a quiet Christmas with your family." Jess felt Cody standing behind her breathing deeply. She could smell the beer on his breath. If she didn't end this soon Cody would do it for her and he wouldn't hold back. "Put the knife on the table and take your money and walk away and it's all forgotten. I'll talk to Jessup and it will all go away." Jess saw Matt pull out something from his pocket and lay it on the table. It was more cash. They both knew Wayne had come into the bar to win a better Christmas for his kids. "Last chance. Cody's breathing down my neck itching for a fight. Let's not give into his childish behavior." The big man dropped his knife and Matt had it in his hand before it hit the table. "Take your money and go home." The man picked up the money off the table as Jess reached behind her and Cody slipped another bunch of folded bills in her hand. As the man slowly made his way passed Jess she slid the other money in the man's pocket.

"Merry Christmas Ranger Hawkes." He nodded at Matt, Derek and Cody. "Merry Christmas." He stumbled out of the bar. Jess threw a set of keys to Matt.

"Couldn't let him off that easily." Jess tuned to Cody. "I can't leave you alone for a minute can I?" He looked sheepishly at her.

"Cutler started it." She smiled.

"And I ended it. Go home." She pushed passed him and went to the elevator, Derek close behind. Cody followed them.

"Jess…" She turned around and glared at him.

"Are you happy Cody? Damn it I expect what happened in there from Cutler but not you. You're the grown up. Wayne does this every year. You couldn't have told Cutler to back off and let him win."

"Cutler is a big boy."

"So are you. One who knows better then to kick a man when he'd down." Matt came into the lobby. "Stay out of this Matthew." She glared at him. He raised his hands.

"I'm sorry okay. I wasn't thinking. I didn't stop him and I'm sorry." Jess shook her head.

"Sorry doesn't always cut it Cody." She turned back to the elevator.

"I know. Jess I know that I'm sorry will never be able fix what happened. I can barley live with the fact that I could of done something and I couldn't because I didn't know it was happening." Jess turned to see tears falling from her brother's cheeks. "I didn't know." She knew this stopped being about Wayne and Cutler. She looked at him.

"No one could have known. It wasn't your fault Cody."

"I should have seen it. I should have known." Jess walked to him.

"I wouldn't let you. Your heart would have broken if you would have known. I couldn't bare that Cody. I had to protect you. Like you protected me. I didn't have to read some stupid journal to know they never wanted me. But I felt wanted always. By you and Matt and mom and dad. I endured those nine months ever year to come home to you and the people who loved me with everything they had."

"You could have told me." She ran her hand down his cheek.

"No because you would have had to tell dad and mom."

"They could have helped you."

"Cody, honey no one could of helped me. Lee and Hale had more connections then dad could ever imagine. But you know that now don't you." He looked at her. "Jared's CIA. He had it written all over him."

"Jess…" She put her hand on his mouth.

"I'm here and who I am because of the two sets of parents who raised me. The McCormick's are responsible for that cold steel ass bitch that comes out when she needs to. The rest is all Hawkes. I control who and what I am and I choose to be a Hawkes, now and forever so lets bury this shit and get back to what really matters." She looked at Matt. "Burn the boxes in Cody's attic. No one else needs to know anymore then they already do." Matt nodded. "And you burn that file Jared gave you before dad finds it. I hate keeping secrets but this one is best buried till the end of time." She stood on her tip toes and kissed Cody's cheek. "Go home and sleep. You look like crap." She turned and hugged Matt and took Derek's hand and pressed the up button.

"Did I miss something?" Jess looked at Derek and smiled.

"Welcome to High Mountain drama. Updates on a need to know basis." She kissed him. "Scared yet?" He shook his head and lifted her up.

"Never." The doors opened and they headed upstairs to find a little less drama and whole lot more loving.


	16. Chapter 16

Resolutions

Chapter Sixteen

Cody knew he was in for a long day when Ava came running in at five o'clock and jumped on the bed. He grabbed her and pinned her down on the mattress and tried to distract her away from the fact that it was Christmas Eve and Santa was coming tonight.

"Ava, daddy knows what day it is. Go back to bed."

"Mommy said you forgot that it was Christmas Eve." He closed his eyes.

"She said that?"

"Yep. She said I should come in and remind you as loudly as possible. So you wouldn't forget." Cody smiled. Of course she did. Sarah was probably sitting in the boy's room laughing her head off.

"Go tell mommy that daddy will get her for this." Ava bounced off the bed and headed out of the room. Cody headed to the shower and hopped the pounding in his head would stop before New Years.

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Derek stood looking out the window of the hotel room he shared with Jess. He sipped his coffee and turned to watch her sleep. Neither had slept much last night. Jess filled him in on all the drama with Lee and Hale. Then they had made love till the sun was ready to come up. It was almost time for them to be at Jesse and Jackie's to start Christmas Eve dinner. Derek didn't have the heart to wake her. He sat down on the bed and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"I thought you left for safer pastures." She whispered, eyes still closed.

"You can't get rid of me that easily Jess." He kissed her forehead. "I don't scare easily. You'd think you would know that by now."

"I just want you to know full well what you're getting into before you sign on for anything permanent." He lay down next to her and pulled her in his arms.

"I think after last night there couldn't be much more you could surprise me with."

"The day isn't over. I have to make a stop before we go to my parents. Shower with me." He shook his head.

"I will not be explaining to your parents why we're late. Now get." Jess was in the shower and out in record time and was dressed before Derek could shave and brush his teeth. They stopped at the station, the diner and the Wal-Mart in Kingsbury. By noon they had three boxes and Jess and Derek delivered them up the mountain to Wayne and his family. She just left it on their porch and they headed back down to her parents.

"He tries so hard to make it up here. It's getting harder when it isn't tourist season. Matt tried getting him a construction job in Sacramento but he wouldn't leave. I don't blame him."

"You did good last night Jess. You were amazing." Jess smiled.

"You weren't so bad yourself." He shook his head.

"Your so your brother's sister. Get your mind out of the gutter Jess." He smiled. "It was pretty amazing though." They laughed and headed to her parents house.

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Cody had found a hiding place in the back bedroom rocking Dylan to sleep. His mother had Christmas music blazing though the house. It was almost like she knew. He felt a cool hand on his head. Opening his eyes he looked up to see Jess standing over him.

"You can't hide in here forever." She whispered.

"I can try." He closed his eyes again.

"Did you sleep?"

"It depends what your definition of sleep is." Jess took Dylan and laid him in his crib their mother kept in the back room. She sat on the bed across from him.

"I will say this one time Cody and we will never mention it again. I love you and sweetie if your beating yourself up for the crap that went on back then don't. Please. Yes I was ignored by the people who vowed to love me from my first breath but I found what I needed to get though it. Now you need to."

"I'm hung over Jess, that's all. I drank way more then I should of and made an ass of myself." He looked at her. "I know you are who you are because of them even if I can't understand why you didn't tell me. But I get it Jess. It's in the past. We have bigger and better things to worry about." She smiled.

"Just know I did it to protect what I had here." Jess reached for his hand and pulled him out of the chair. "Just stay away from mom's Figgie pudding and we should be good." He hugged her and they headed out to the very noisy kitchen.

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Jesse Hawkes looked at the scene in front of him. Cody with Sarah and the kids spread out over the floor. Derek with Jess on his lap at the end of the couch, his hand resting protectively on her stomach and Matt sitting on the chair in the corner with Robin sitting on the arm whispering something to him. This was the way he pictured his children. Happy and loved. Friends and family drifted in and out all day long but the three of them stayed, right where the belonged, here on the mountain Jesse had claimed fifty years ago. He knew someday they would grow up and leave but he knew they would always come back. Jackie came up and put her arm around him.

"What are you thinking grandpa?" He looked at her. She was as beautiful as the day he married her.

"I'm thinking life could not get any better then it is right now." He kissed his wife. "Let's go open some presents."

"You could never wait for Christmas." They headed into the living and joined their family. The Hawkes were becoming stronger with every passing day. They would all need to draw on that soon enough but for now it all was calm and bright. They all knew it wouldn't be long before the real world would come knocking but until then they took all the calm they could get.

**The End**

**I_ had to end here or I could have gone on till next Christmas. I have something in the works to get Jess married off and the trip that takes her and Derek across the county to celebrate with family and friends. I'll try not to keep you waiting too long. Thanks again to all of you that feed my ego. I appreciated it greatly._**


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